Missing: Presumed Missing?
by Seel'vor
Summary: After the debacle at the DoM, Harry's friends turn on him. So he leaves. Now the world begins to realise they've driven away their savior. How will they get him back? Rated for language. Harry!Harem. Heavily Edited and NEW CONTENT!
1. Accusations and Conversations

**Disclaimer:** Once again, I feel the need to tell you all that I do not own Harry Potter. That happy honour belongs to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury Books, Warners Bros and the Tooth Fairy. However, I own a lovely Fountain Pen. Honestly. It's really pretty.

This story will be Harry/Harem. "Why?" you ask? Well, basically, 'cause we can. However, both myself and my beta (MagnaMorbius. All hail MagnaMorbius!) are uttely crap at writing sex scenes. We've tried, and they read like a Haynes manual. Theoretically possible, but dull as dirt. So, we write smutty bits with no graphic sex. Still, there's enough innuendo in here for you.

* * *

– **CHAPTER ONE –**

**Accusations and Conversations **

"_Harry... don't you understand?" Hermione asked, the rest of the 'Ministry Crew' standing behind her. "I'm afraid." She gestured to the others. "We're all afraid. We went you with to the Department of Mysteries, and what happened to us?"_

_Neville took a step forward, and cleared his throat. "All of us were injured, Harry. I understand that you were afraid for your Godfather, but was it really worth it? Because of your actions, he's dead."_

_Luna stared at him intently. "Harry," she said, her voice soft, yet determined. "I felt like I had to go with you... I don't trust you anymore, Harry. Your actions weren't logical. And a man died, and your closest friends were hurt."_

_Ginny looked up, the very vision of an enraged red-head. "We could have died, Harry. Because of your stupidity, we were all hurt. I liked Sirius... I can't really forgive you for his death."_

_Ron spoke last, a sneer on his face. "Harry, you were arrogant and foolish. We don't want anything more to do with you. As of now, you're on your own."_

_

* * *

On your own... on your own... on your own..._ Those words reverberated through Harry's mind. It had only been a few days since he had parted with his 'friends', and Harry already felt a wave of depression and agony fill him. Remus had reacted in a similar fashion when Harry had last seen him._

* * *

Remus looked at Harry, an indescribable look of sadness on his face. Harry looked at him, his own sadness evident. Remus roared, and leapt to his feet._

"_It's your fault!" He cried out. "Because of you, the last of my pack is dead!" Remus reared back, and punched Harry. "I never want to see you again! James and Lily will never forgive you!" Remus stormed from the room, leaving Harry gasping and wheezing on the floor._

_

* * *

It's your fault... On your own..._ Harry sat up from his bed, despair tearing into his thoughts. 

"Fine." He mumbled aloud. His voice was scratchy and rough, having not been used for days. He staggered to his feet, and ambled over to his trunk. He carefully packed all of his belongings inside, save for a small backpack, in which he placed his photo album, Firebolt, which had been returned at the end of the term, and his father's invisibility cloak. He kept his wand in his pocket, and locked the trunk.

Not caring about the Underage decrees, he shrunk his trunk, and placed it into his shirt pocket. Taking a last look around the smallest bedroom of Number 4 Privet Drive, he moved to the door.

* * *

Vernon looked up from his newspaper, hearing his hated nephew stomping down the stairs. He rolled his eyes, and delved back into his newspaper. Hopefully the little brat would go out and let them have some piece for a while. 

Harry entered the kitchen, and cleared his throat.

Vernon looked up and scowled. "What do you want now, boy?"

Harry gazed on, a dead look in his eyes. "I have come to take my leave of you, Uncle." He replied. "I will not be returning." Vernon's eyes lit up with glee.

"About bloody time." He said happily.

"There is something else I need to say." Harry said formally. "This property has never been my home. I renounce all claims of blood kin within these walls."

Petunia came in, hearing the last few words Harry had spoken. "What's going on here?" She demanded haughtily.

"Freak's announcing he's leaving, Pet." Vernon replied happily. "Just telling us that he never considered this place home." He snorted. "It's fine by me, really."

Eyes lighting up with alarm, she looked at Harry. "What are you doing?"

Harry replied, his tone flat and mechanical. "I explained to Uncle Vernon that this property has never been my home. I renounce all claims of blood kin within these walls."

"No!" Petunia cried out. "Do you know what you're doing?" Vernon looked up at her alarm.

"Yes." Harry replied. "I need to speak to Dudley, then I will be gone." Harry turned, and left the kitchen. Petunia quickly turned to Vernon. "No, we can't let him!"

Vernon stood up, not understanding why Petunia was so upset. "Relax, Petunia. I thought we would be glad when he's gone?"

"He's taking away the protection!" Petunia replied, nearly hysterical. "Don't you remember what that letter said? 'As long as Harry can call this place home, where his mother's blood resides, no one will be able to harm you'. By saying that to Dudley, he'll take it away!" Seeing Vernon's blank look enraged her. "The freaks will be able to attack us!"

Vernon quickly grasped the situation, and rushed out into the hall, only to see Harry calmly coming down the stairs.

"I'm done here." Harry replied. "We will not see each other again." He stopped by the front door. "Enjoy the rest of your lives." With that parting shot, Harry opened the door, and was gone.

* * *

Outside Privet Drive, the wards began to fade. Due to the inherent power contained within them, it would take some time for them to be destroyed, but Harry's actions had now made the process irreversible.

* * *

Harry stood on the pavement, and held out his wand. The Knight Bus appeared with a loud 'crack' that nobody heard, and a flash of light that nobody saw. Harry calmly marched onto the bus, paid Stan with the amount, and headed for Diagon Alley.

* * *

Passing through the portal at the back of the Leaky Cauldron, Harry ignored the stares and whispers that followed him. People had finally decided that since Voldemort was truly back, he had been telling the truth for the last year. One of the articles he had seen that made him laugh was where the _Prophet_ had called him 'the lone voice of truth, forced to put up with slander, persecution and ridicule'. Of course, it had failed to mention that it was the _Prophet_ that had done the slandering, persecuting and ridiculing. 

Harry saw the Weasley twins standing outside their shop, seemingly looking for him. He walked past, ignoring their pleas.

He entered Gringotts, and calmly waited in line for the next free teller. When he became available, Harry stared up.

"What?" The goblin asked briskly.

"I would like a way to access my funds without appearing in your branch." Harry droned. "I want to be able to access Muggle funds. Do you offer a debit card facility with your accounts? One that will work overseas?"

"Name?" The goblin asked.

"Harry Potter. Vault 687." Harry replied.

The goblin nodded. "Your account qualifies, Mr. Potter." The goblin replied, far more friendly now that he knew he was dealing with a rich wizard. "We can have a card prepared for you in a few moments." The goblin looked around, and leaned over the desk. "There is also another matter that we need to speak to you about, Mr. Potter. Do you have a few moments available now?"

Harry shrugged, then nodded. The goblin slammed a 'Closed' sign on his desk, then stood up. The queue of people behind Harry groaned, then headed over to the next queue. The goblin gestured for Harry to follow him. He looked around for a moment, then followed.

* * *

"Now, Mr. Potter." The goblin sat down at a desk in a vacant office. "We have recently sent out letters notifying people of the Will reading of Mr. Sirius Black. You were named as one of the beneficiaries of the Will. However, from your questions in the lobby, I am assuming that you are planning on leaving the country soon?" The goblin asked. 

"Yes." Harry replied. "I have a couple of errands to run, then I'm gone." He said softly. "There's nothing left for me here anymore."

"I am sorry to hear that, Mr. Potter." The goblin replied dutifully. "Do you know where you are going to be on July 12th?"

"No." Harry answered. "I have no definite plans at this time."

"Hmm." The goblin thought for a moment. "Are you familiar with Portkeys, Mr. Potter?" Seeing Harry nod, he carried on. "We will be able to supply you with a Portkey that will bring you here at the appropriate time on July 12th. At the end of the Will reading, it will return you to your previous co-ordinates."

"That's very helpful." Harry said calmly. "Thank you."

The goblin nodded once, and stood. He extended a hand, with a plain black plastic card.

"One other thing." Harry called after the goblin. "I expect that any transactions that I carry out will be protected under your usual impeccable confidentiality?"

The goblin turned, and looked offended. "Of course, Mr. Potter."

Harry nodded once, stood, and headed to the door.

* * *

Harry's 'errands' were to a Magical Home store, to purchase and outfit a wizard's tent, a travel agency, so he could pick up a Portkey to another country, and a quick stop at the Leaky Cauldron to pick up several cases of Butterbeer. He carefully packed the two items into his now-full backpack. His plans would not allow him to resize the items once shrunk, so he had to pack like a Muggle, and carry them normally. 

He passed back through the Cauldron, ignoring the people calling to him, and headed outside. He raised his wand again, calling for the Knight Bus. He was aware that this would be the last time he would take this... unique form of transport, and relished the ride.

Unfortunately for Harry, it was over far too quickly, depositing him on his arse in Hogsmeade. He calmly walked down the High Street, again ignoring people calling out to him, some to offer support, and others to offer apologies for not believing him over the last ten months.

He approached the gates of Hogwarts, and took a deep breath. He passed through the portal, and felt the pull of the castle in front of him. The magic in the air was palpable, and it sang to his very soul. He ignored it, and approached the doors.

He banged on them three times, then waited. As expected, Argus Filch opened the door, and cast a hateful gaze at Harry. "What do you want? Isn't it bad enough that you make a mess of my castle during the term? Can't you let me have my summer in peace?"

"Shut up." Harry said in a dead tone. "Where is Dumbledore?"

Filch was taken back by the boy, and gestured to the doors to the Great Hall. "He's having lunch."

Harry pushed past the old man, and walked into the Great Hall. The few remaining Professors, Dumbledore, Flitwick, McGonagall and Snape, were sitting having lunch up at the staff table.

Dumbledore saw Harry Potter entering the Great Hall, and felt a moment of panic. "Harry, is everything okay? Is there a problem at home?"

Harry looked up with his dead eyes, an action that scared the powerful old wizard. "Nothing is wrong. I just came to drop something off before I go.

"'Go', Harry? Where are you going?" McGonagall asked.

"Away." Harry replied, reaching into his shirt pocket. He pulled out the trunk, and threw it onto the floor at the foot of the staff table. "This contains all of my books, supplies and equipment. You can use it to give poor students some assistance."

Dumbledore was shocked and appalled. "Harry-"

"It also contains my robes and other school clothing. I'm sure you'll be able to find a use for them." Harry snorted. "Hell, auction them off for all I care. I'm sure the school budget would appreciate the help."

Snape sneered. "Arrogant, Potter, just like your father! You think that by going away people will flock to you?"

Harry turned his head smoothly, fixing the Potions Master in a glare that made even the experienced spy cold. "No, Snivellus. I plan to go away, and hope the world forgets all about me. I don't want any fame. I never did. Your opinion matters to me so little I can't even describe it."

"Do you expect us to believe that you're giving up your magic education, Potter?" Snape asked, his sneer even more pronounced.

"No." Harry replied simply, pulling his wand from his pocket. Under the horrified gazes of three Professors, he snapped the wand, and threw the pieces onto the floor. "I'm giving up my magic. I don't want it. Any of it."

"Harry... what has happened?" Dumbledore asked, barely able to get the words out.

"Everything, Headmaster. I've had enough of the Wizarding world. So, I'm leaving it. I don't want anyone to come and look for me. I just want to be forgotten."

"You can't leave, Harry." Dumbledore said firmly. "Do you not remember what was said in my office less than a fortnight ago?"

"Yes, I remember." Harry said. "But I no longer care. I'm gone." Harry turned, and started to walk away.

"What about your friends, Harry?" Dumbledore's mind was racing. Harry couldn't leave! Without him, Voldemort would be unstoppable.

Harry stopped, and slowly turned. He was about to say something, then stopped himself. He turned back, and walked out of the hall.

Dumbledore turned to McGonagall. "This is not good, Minerva."

Snape rolled his eyes. "This is just another attention seeking ploy from the brat, Headmaster." Couldn't anyone see that? "He'll be back in a few days, begging us to forgive him. I, for one, am not going to let this ruin my summer." He picked up his fork, and carried on with his lunch.

* * *

Harry reached the edge of the wards, and raised his watch. The travel agent had managed to turn his watch into a Portkey to another country, where Harry would be able to start his new life. He was about to press the button, when he turned back, and stared at the castle for a moment. Engraving as much of it into his memory as he could, he jabbed the button, vanishing from Hogsmeade.

* * *

A week passed, and nobody had heard from Harry. Dumbledore had called the Order together into the kitchen at Grimmauld Place. 

He stood at the head of the table, waiting for everyone to settle down.

The Elder Weasleys were starting to look worried. Dumbledore had not felt the need to call the whole Order for several months, and each time that he did, it was never good.

"I will, what was that Muggle phrase? 'Cut to the chase', that was it. I will 'cut straight to the chase' this evening." Dumbledore began. "Has anyone heard from Harry Potter recently?"

The room as one answered with various 'no' answers. Dumbledore frowned. "This time last week, Harry came to Hogwarts. He told us that he has had enough, and was giving up his magic."

Snape sneered. "I told you, Headmaster, this is just another attention seeking ploy from the little bastard. I don't even know why we're bothering with this."

Several people scowled at Snape. Moody stood up, and walked out of the door, causing several people to mutter. Dumbledore looked shocked that someone had just walked out from a meeting he was holding before they were dismissed. He shook his head, resolving to talk to Alastor about this.

McGonagall looked at Lupin. "Remus, have you spoken to Harry recently?"

Lupin looked up, his eyes flashing amber. "I had words with him at the end of term, Minerva." He replied coolly.

"And how did he seem?" McGonagall replayed Lupin's words in her mind. "What 'words' did you have with him, exactly?"

Remus looked sad. "We talked about Sirius' death. He seemed... depressed and sad. What you'd expect from a boy who's just lost his Godfather." Remus deliberately skirted the issue of the precise words he had used. In hindsight, he knew that he had been harsh with Harry, but the wounds were still too raw, too painful.

* * *

Moody apparated to the edge of the wards at Privet Drive, and whistled. His magical eye showed him the state of the wards, and he saw that they were extremely weak. They wouldn't keep a determined kneazle out, let alone the Dark Lord or his Death Eaters. 

Throwing caution to the wind, he went up to Number 4, and rang the bell.

A few moments later, a woman with an excess of neck answered, hastily concealing her scream, before she pulled Moody inside, before the neighbours saw.

"What do you want?" She demanded.

"Where's Potter?" Moody asked, ignoring something as ordinary as manners.

The giraffe sniffed, then stared at Moody petulantly. "He left. Told us all that this was not his home, and he renounced any blood kin."

Moody sucked in a breath, and nodded. Without bothering to leave the house, he apparated away, before rematerialising in the park across from Grimmauld Place. Wasting no time, he quickly let himself back into the house.

* * *

Dumbledore sighed, before rubbing the bridge of his nose. The members of the Order were suggesting places Harry would have gone to hide, and they were getting more ridiculous at they progressed. 

Moody stomped into the kitchen, halting the conversation immediately.

"Ah, Alastor." Dumbledore looked up. "I was wondering where you went in the middle of a meeting."

"Privet Drive." The old Auror replied gruffly. "Thought I'd go straight to the horse's mouth."

"And?" Snape sneered. "Was the brat there?

"No." Moody replied. "And the Blood Wards are almost gone, too." Exclamations of disbelief followed this statement. Moody cleared his throat before carrying on. "I don't mean that they're getting weaker. I do mean literally almost gone. Give it a day, they'll have dissipated."

"How is this possible?" Molly asked, looking at Dumbledore. "I thought that they were extremely powerful, Albus."

"They are." Moody answered for Dumbledore. "However, they rely on the person being protected calling that place home. Before he left, Potter told his relatives that Number 4 was not his home, and he renounced his Blood Kin."

"That'd do it." Dumbledore mumbled to himself. "I'd like to believe that Harry did not know that saying those things has destroyed the wards."

"He probably knew." Snape scowled as he spat the words out. "He's probably sat in the Leaky Cauldron having a good laugh, waiting for us to come for him on bended knee. Well, I won't."

Dumbledore started to rub his temples, valiantly trying to fight off the headache that was struggling for dominance. "We will need to begin a search for Mr. Potter straight away." Dumbledore said quietly. "Remus, will you arrange for teams to go to all the obvious locations? We can then start looking-"

"No." Remus interrupted. "I am not the best person to arrange a search for Harry, Albus." He stood. "I... I need to be alone for a while. Please excuse me." He strode out of the kitchen, before retreating to his bedroom.

The rest of the Order stared in silence for a moment, before turning back to Dumbledore. "Very well. Arthur, will you please begin searching for Harry? Molly, would you ask your children when they last spoke to, or received a letter from, Mr. Potter?" Molly nodded.

"Very well. As soon as somebody hears something, please pass the information on to the rest of the Order. Dismissed."

* * *

Molly entered the Burrow, and sought out her youngest two children. She found them engaged in a furious chess battle, ignoring everything. 

She cleared her throat. "Children, have any of you heard from Harry recently?"

Ginny looked up, her expression carefully marshalled into neutrality. "No, Mum. Why?"

Molly sighed, looking at Ron, who shook his head before returning back to his game. "He's gone missing. We were hoping that you'd heard from him."

"Sorry." Ron said quietly, not looking up from the chessboard, where one of his pawns was violently attacking Ginny's bishop.

Molly shook her head, and walked away.

Ginny and Ron looked at each other, shrugged, and went back to their game.

* * *

Hermione opened the letter she had just received, and read the contents quickly. She scowled for a moment, then picked up a quill, and penned a brief reply. She attached the letter to the owl's leg, then thought no more about it.

* * *

Neville heard his grandmother calling, and came in from his greenhouse, swearing to himself. He had been in the middle of some very delicate re-potting, and had been called away at the most inappropriate time. 

He entered the living room, to find his grandmother pointing at the fire, where the head of Headmaster Dumbledore was floating.

"Yes, sir?"

"Ah, Mr. Longbottom." Dumbledore's soft voice was filled with power and confidence. "I need to ask you; when was the last time you spoke to Mr. Potter?"

Neville didn't bat an eyelid. "Harry? I spoke to him on the last day of term, Professor."

"You haven't heard from him since? You haven't received a letter from him?"

"No, Professor." Neville replied. "Is there a problem?"

"Young Harry has gone missing, Mr. Longbottom. None of his friends has heard from him." Dumbledore said, looking concerned and haggard in one move.

Neville shrugged. "I can't help you, sir. I'm sorry."

"If you hear from him, please contact me at once." Dumbledore ordered.

"Of course, sir." Neville said. "If I hear from Harry, I'll floo you immediately."

"Thank you, Mr. Longbottom." Dumbledore's head faded from the fire, leaving an unconcerned Neville to go back to his plants.

* * *

Luna was sat in her father's office, reading the new issue of the _Quibbler_. When the owl arrived with Dumbledore's message, she took it from the owl, read it, and threw it into the fire. Her health was slowly improving after the fight at the ministry, but she had no desire to rehash those events.

* * *

Dumbledore was sitting in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, waiting for the rest of the Order to return. He had received Miss Granger's reply, and had spoken to Mr. Longbottom. Molly had spoken to her children, and he was now waiting for their reply. 

Soon enough, the Order had gathered, complete with a scowling Lupin and a sneering Snape. He quickly called the meeting to order, and waited for the reports.

"Well, Molly?" He asked.

Molly looked worried. "I've spoken to both Ron and Ginny. Neither of them have heard from him since the last day of term. No letters or floo calls."

Dumbledore held up Hermione's response. "Miss Granger reports that she had heard nothing from Harry since the last day of term as well. I've taken the liberty of speaking to Mr. Longbottom, and he told me the same thing."

Arthur thought for a moment. "It seems strange that everyone spoke to him on the last day of term... but no-one's actually told us what was said." Arthur turned to Lupin. "Remus, what was your conversation about? You didn't really clarify what you said."

Lupin looked uncomfortable. "We... we discussed Harry's recent actions, and the consequences of those actions."

Minerva looked up sharply. "You... oh, Remus, you didn't!"

Remus looked down at his hands, saying nothing.

"What?" Tonks looked at McGonagall, then at Lupin. "What did you say, Remy?"

"I..." Lupin didn't look up. "I may have said that because of Harry's actions, Sirius is dead."

"You blamed him?" Dumbledore asked. He quickly looked at Molly. "How did Ronald and Ginevra seem when you asked them?"

Molly looked up. "Unconcerned... Almost like they didn't care."

Dumbledore held up Hermione's response. "Miss Granger's response was... not what I would expect. She said, and I quote; '_I haven't heard from Harry. If he contacts me, I'll let you know._' Nothing else. No concern over his health or well-being. Based on previous experience, I'd expect her to be screaming at me to find him."

"You don't think..." Molly glared at Lupin. "Do you believe that they also blame Harry for Sirius' death?"

Dumbledore took off his glasses, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "We must not forget that all of them were injured during the fight at the Ministry. Is it... is it possible that they have decided to cut off communication with Mr. Potter?"

Lupin looked at his hands. "Wouldn't blame them if they did." He mumbled under his breath.

Dumbledore ignored Moony's whispers, and addressed the Order as a whole. "Please bring Harry's friends here at once. We will need to speak to them immediately."

"Headmaster," Snape's silky voice filled the void. "I do not understand the urgency of locating the brat. If he's truly left, it will free up our resources, allowing us a greater advantage in containing the Dark Lord's forces."

Dumbledore sighed. He really didn't want to go into this. "We need Harry Potter, Severus. You know of the prophecy. Harry is the one mentioned in the prophecy."

Snape looked taken aback for a moment, before his mask slipped back into place. "You're joking!"

"No." Dumbledore looked at the rest of the Order. "I did not want to reveal this. Two additional pieces of information. The prophecy we have been protecting during the last year? It relates to Harry and Voldemort. Harry is the only person who can defeat him. Without him, we are lost."

Dumbledore gave the group a few moments to take in that nugget of knowledge, before dropping the bigger bombshell. "When Harry came to Hogwarts, he announced that he was giving up his magic."

Snape rolled his eyes. "It was a ploy, I'm telling you! Do you really expect us to believe that he snapped his own wand?"

Molly gasped. "He snapped his wand?"

"Yes, Molly." Dumbledore replied tiredly. "And it _was_ his wand. I checked the remains. Inside was one of Fawkes' tail feathers. Only two wands have that core."

"What's the other?" Bill asked curiously.

"Voldemort's wand contains the other feather." Dumbledore sighed. "That is another weapon that we have lost."

"I don't understand." Tonks said.

"Because they were brother wands, they could not, or rather, _would_ not work against each other. Voldemort's brother wand would have locked, allowing others to gain an advantage."

"And Potter took that away from us." Snape sneered. "His arrogance will be our undoing!"

"Shut up!" Tonks shouted. "It's attitudes like that which would drive him away! Have you considered that you're partly to blame?"

Snape sneered, but didn't answer.

Molly stood. "I'll go and get Ron and Ginny."

"I'll go and get Hermione." Bill offered. "I'll use the emergency Portkey to bring her here."

"I'll get Mr. Longbottom to come by Floo." McGonagall offered.

Moody sighed. "I'll get Lovegood."

Dumbledore nodded. "Very good. I'll see you all back here in twenty minutes."

* * *

Five Members of the 'Ministry Six' had been unceremoniously gathered into the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. 

"Thank you for coming on short notice." Dumbledore began. "We are here today to discuss Harry Potter."

"Don't know where he is, sir." Ron said dutifully.

"Haven't seen him since end of term." Ginny added.

"I am aware of this." Dumbledore said. "However, I _have_ seen Mr. Potter since the last day of term. He came to Hogwarts a few days later. While he was there, he told me that he was leaving, and giving up his magic. He then snapped his wand, and left. Nobody has seen him since."

Hermione shrugged. "There you go, then." She gestured to the other children. "Why are we here, sir?"

"You are here, Miss Granger, because nobody understands why Mr. Potter has decided to leave the Wizarding world. Especially at this critical time."

"He's probably just doing this for the attention." Ron snapped. "Since the newspapers are now calling him the Golden Boy again, he's just trying to get more of a swelled head."

Hermione sniffed. "At the end of term, we told him that we don't want anything more to do with him."

"What!?" Dumbledore demanded. "You... you..." He stopped for a moment.

"We," Hermione gestured to her friends, "decided that we're going to stay away from him. He's reckless. He almost got us killed at the Ministry, and directly because of his actions, Sirius died. We're better off without him in our lives. We'll live longer."

Snape chuckled mirthlessly. "You stupid child. Directly because of your actions, none of us will live long lives. In fact, we'll probably be dead by Christmas." He sneered at her. "Congratulations. The six of you have destroyed the world."

"What?" Hermione asked, looking stupidly confused. Dumbledore was still rubbing his temples. "What?"

McGonagall looked up. "Do you know the prophecy?" She asked softly.

"No. It was destroyed before anyone could hear it." Neville said.

"It was made to me." Dumbledore spoke up. "It was made by Sybil Trelawney just before Harry was born. I won't tell you the entire thing, but the gist of it was that only Harry could defeat Voldemort. No-one else can. I duelled with him in the Ministry, but the best that I can hope for is a stalemate."

"What?" Hermione asked. "So... why don't you go and find Harry, and get him to come back?"

"Because he doesn't care anymore." McGonagall stated firmly. "He snapped his wand. He has no intention of returning." She glared at them. "I don't blame him. If his closest friends can turn on him..."

"Oh, come on!" Ron shouted. "He's nothing special! If anyone defeats You-Know-Who, it'll be Professor Dumbledore! Not 'I-can't-control-myself' Potter!"

"Were you not listening, Mr. Weasley?" Dumbledore asked. "I cannot defeat Voldemort. No-one in this room can defeat Voldemort. Only Harry."

"I'm sorry." Hermione said. "But what does that have to do with us? Like I said, we don't want anything to do with Harry. There's too much chance of us being killed."

McGonagall leapt to her feet. "And driving him away? All you've done is kill the rest of us!"

Luna stood. "I don't believe that. There's always hope. But hope is not spelt 'H-A-R-R-Y'. Somebody else will defeat him."

Dumbledore glanced at McGonagall, his eyebrow raised in a 'they're-really-not-listening' way. "No. We need Mr. Potter back. Since you are his friends-"

"_Were_ his friends." Hermione interrupted. "Not anymore."

Ginny cleared her throat. "Sir... Harry may not like us anymore, but he wouldn't just abandon the Wizarding world to Voldemort."

"And how did you deduce that?" Moody asked gruffly.

"Well... that's who he is." Ginny replied timidly. "He'll save us because it's the right thing for him to do."

"No." Snape added. "He won't. He would not fight for me. He would not fight for Professor McGonagall. He wouldn't even fight for the Headmaster. He would fight for his friends, and for his dogfather."

"There you go, then." Ron said.

"He doesn't have any reasons left, you foolish child!" Snape roared, causing several people to jump. "You took away the only thing he has to fight for!"

"He took them away himself!" Lupin shouted. "Because of him, Sirius is dead! And because of him, his friends were injured! They could have died! All because he wouldn't learn!"

Dumbledore tapped the table, bringing the meeting back to order. "Harry could not learn Occlumency, since the visions from Voldemort were specifically aimed at damaging his mental arts abilities. He interfered with his lessons." He stared at Lupin, causing the younger man to squirm in his seat. "I don't recall hearing that Harry forced anyone to go with him. In fact, from his memories, he specifically told you that he didn't want you to go with him, as he was afraid that would get hurt."

"We thought Sirius was in danger." Hermione defended herself. "We thought we'd make sure."

"So... you went of your own free will. And yet, you blame Harry." Dumbledore mused, pressing his finger together. "I wonder why..."

Hermione stood abruptly. "I will not be involved in any further discussion, Headmaster. We have made our feelings on the matter clear, and have made our decisions. Good day." She turned and headed for the door, followed by the rest of the Ministry crew.

Dumbledore waited for a few moments, then slumped into his seat. "Yes." He whispered. "You have. And it will cost us... everything."


	2. Actions and Consquences

– **CHAPTER TWO –**

_**Actions and Consequences**_

July 12th approached quickly, and when it arrived, it saw a good number of people sitting in one of Gringotts' largest conference rooms.

A stranger shuffled in, wearing a hooded cloak that concealed his face. He sat at the far end of the table, away from everyone else.

A single goblin stood at the head of the table, holding a Pensieve in his hands. "My name is Bladetooth. This is the final Will of Mr. Sirius Orion Black. I will play the message as soon as I have confirmed everyone is here.

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore?"

"Here."

"Molly, Arthur, William, Charles, Frederick, George, Ronald and Ginevra Weasley?"

"Yes." Arthur answered for all of them.

"Narcissa and Draco Lucius Malfoy?"

"Present." Narcissa answered.

"Remus John Lupin?"

"Yes, sir."

"Nymphadora Tonks?"

Tonks scowled at the use of her first name. "Here, sir."

"Hermione Jane Granger?"

"Here."

"Harry James Potter?"

The hooded stranger stood at the end of the table. "I'm here representing Mr. Potter." The man said, his voice making him sound Australian.

The goblin looked up. "We do not normally allow proxies, Mr..."

"Jackson." The stranger replied. "I'm Paul Jackson. Mr. Potter gave me a letter than I'm supposed to give to you." He walked to the head of the table, and passed the envelope across. The goblin read it with an impassive face, then nodded at the stranger.

"Very well, Mr. Jackson. Our records will show that you are standing in for Mr. Potter at this time. You will need to make sure that any and all paperwork is signed by Mr. Potter, and will need to be signed with a blood quill."

"Understood, sir." The man said, and sat down.

Dumbledore stared at the hooded figure. "How do you know Mr. Potter?" He asked. The stranger looked up, and lowered the hood, revealing an older man, with shoulder-length grey hair.

"I met him a few weeks ago. Got to know the kid. Nice guy." Jackson replied. "And who are you?"

"I'm the Headmaster of young Mr. Potter's school." Dumbledore replied.

"Oh?" Jackson asked. "He told me that he didn't go to school anymore. He'd had his exams, and was on a long-term holiday."

"That is a subject open to discussion, Mr. Jackson." Dumbledore said, looking closely at Jackson.

Bladetooth cleared his throat, bringing the group's attention back to the matter at hand. "Since all participants are here, I will now begin the recording." Bladetooth jabbed a rune on the side of the Pensieve, causing a hologram of Sirius to appear.

"This is the final Will and Testament of Sirius Orion Black. This recording is made on May 4th, 1995. Being of sound mind and body, I hereby make the following decrees;

"To Albus Dumbledore, I leave 20,000 Galleons to fund his bird-watching club. May this money allow you to complete all of your goals." Dumbledore looked a little disappointed with the bequest. Obviously, he was hoping for more money to fight the war.

"To Nymphadora Tonks, I leave 10,000 Galleons. Good luck, Nymphadora." Tonks scowled at Sirius using her first name, but nodded shakily as he gave her enough money to cover two years of her salary.

"To the Weasley Family, I leave 5,000 Galleons each. I would like to thank you all for everything you have done for Harry. Molly and Arthur, you have been the parents that he has needed for his entire life. Bill, Charlie, Fred and George; you've been the big brothers that he's needed to grow up. Ron, your friendship with Harry means a lot to him. Without you by his side, he wouldn't be the man that he is today. Ginny, I know about your crush. All I can say is, hang in there. Potter men are not the smartest when it comes to the opposite sex." The older Weasleys nodded solemnly, while the two youngest squirmed in their seats. Sirius' will, combined with the talks they had received at Grimmauld Place, made them feel a little uneasy receiving the funds.

"To Remus Lupin, I leave 50,000 Galleons, and a word of advice. Find someone, Moony. You're alone far too much, old friend. Take care of our Pup. He'll need the help." Lupin's face was stoic. The advice about taking care of Harry grated. _It's his fault we're here in the first place, Padfoot!_ He fumed to himself.

"To Hermione Granger, I leave 5,000 Galleons. You are the other half of Harry's best friends, and he'll need you now more than ever. Also, ask Harry for access to the Black Family library. It has books in there like you wouldn't believe." Hermione nodded, her face almost as impassive at Lupin's. She would have to talk to Potter's representative to gain access to the Black Library. Or, just wait until she was taken again to Grimmauld Place, and she could take what she wanted.

"To Narcissa Malfoy, I leave 10,000 Galleons with a stipulation; you can have the money if you divorce the Death Eater you're married to, and renounce his name. This is a one-time only offer, Cissy. I hope you take it." Mrs. Malfoy scowled at the presumption of the offer. She shook her head, and leaned back.

"To Draco Malfoy, I leave 1 Knut, and a stipulation; if there's a body, you have an invitation to kiss my pale chilly arse. This isn't a game, kid. You need to choose your side now, before you get killed." Draco turned puce, but somehow kept his silence.

"Finally, to my godson, Harry James Potter. I leave the balance of the Black Family Fortune, currently rated at over 2,000,000 Galleons, all properties owned by the family, as well as the title Head of the Black Family. Congratulations. Now, there are several orders you have to follow. One, make sure you use this money for frivolous things _only_. You have enough of your own money to live a comfortable life. I want you to have some fun. Two, if there's anyone I've forgotten in this Will, please, feel free to share the wealth around.

"On a final note, Harry, I want to give you some free advice. Keep your friends close to you, Harry. They're a source of great strength for you, and you'll need that strength in the dark days to come. There is a little bonus, which the executor of my Will will give to you before you leave.

"This is Padfoot, the love-god of the Marauders, signing off." The hologram faded into the Pensieve.

Jackson stood up, and strode to Bladetooth. "Mr. Potter has given me authority to take care of his bequest. What do I need to do?"

Narcissa stood up. "I contest this will!" She said in an icy voice. "Mr. Potter should not be the recipient of the Black title, or the Black Fortune. Those should go to the youngest male with Black blood."

Jackson turned, and scowled at Narcissa. "Mrs. Malfoy, the will has been completed. You can't contest. Everything goes to Harry Potter." He looked her up and down. "Are you gonna divorce your husband?"

"No, I am not." She replied coolly.

"Then there's another ten grand for Harry. Thanks." He turned his back on her. He held out his hand. "There's a letter for Mr. Potter?" Bladetooth nodded, and handed it over. Jackson opened the documents, and quickly read them. "He'll accept. Could you arrange for everything to go into the Potter Family Vault? Include all deeds and documents, and empty his Trust Vault into that, too."

"It will be done, Mr. Jackson." Bladetooth replied. "We will, of course, need final authority from Mr. Potter, but we will arrange for everything to be carried out."

"Cheers." Jackson said. He looked over at Dumbledore. "I understand that you're currently using Mr. Potter's home for your..." Jackson looked down at the written copy of the Will, "your 'bird-club'?"

Dumbledore nodded. "We have permission from Mr. Black to use the property."

"Well, it belongs to Mr. Potter now. You've got your own homes, people. Use them." Jackson turned back to Bladetooth. "Seal it up. Don't want anyone to get in there except Mr. Potter."

Bladetooth nodded. Dumbledore started spluttering. "We will need Mr. Potter to tell us that we can't use his home."

"Well, I'm his representative, and I have full authority, so I can tell you. The answer is 'no'."

Hermione stepped forward. "Uh, Mr. Jackson? I would like to have access to the Black Family Library."

Jackson looked down at the Will. "You're Miss Granger, yeah?" She nodded. "Well, I'm telling you now, that you can't. Those books belong to Mr. Potter."

"But... Sirius said I could look through them!" Hermione exclaimed, devastated at the thought of lost knowledge.

"Yeah..." Jackson drawled. "He also said that you're the other half of Harry's best friends. Since you ain't that anymore, you lose the library. Sorry, kid." Jackson turned away, not sounding apologetic at all.

Tonks stepped forward. "Have you seen Harry recently?" She asked timidly.

Jackson looked over. "You'd be Nymphadora, yeah?" She scowled at him, causing him to chuckle. "Yeah, he said you didn't like your name. Had to call it ya." He nodded. "Yep, seen Harry everyday for the last couple weeks. Admittedly, had to carry him home from the bar a couple times, but he's a good kid. Seems pretty bummed out about summat, but he wouldn't tell me what it was."

"Can you pass along a message for me?" Tonks asked.

"Sure, sweetie." Jackson replied, looking her up and down, obviously liking what he was seeing.

"We need to speak with him as soon as possible. It's about why he left." Tonks replied.

Jackson shook his head. "I'll pass along the message, hun, but from what the kid's told me, he doesn't want anything to do with anyone from his former life. Something about them hurting him. He seems to be settling in pretty happily back home."

"And 'home' is in Australia?" Dumbledore asked, obviously listening in to the conversation.

"I will neither confirm nor deny that I have seen Mr. Potter in Australia." Jackson replied. "If he wanted you to know where he is, he would have told you himself."

"Potter's left?" Malfoy asked.

"What's it to you, kid?" Jackson asked angrily. He looked around the room. "God, can't you people not eavesdrop? It's bloody rude!"

Bladetooth cleared his throat. "If that is everything, you will need to leave. We have another appointment for this room in ten minutes. Mr. Jackson, please remain behind for a moment."

The group left the room, leaving Jackson and Bladetooth stood alone. As soon as the door closed, Bladetooth nodded. Jackson reached up to the side of his face, and pulled, revealing a rubber mask that was glued to his skin, and a wig.

"Mr. Potter. An ingenious alternative to a glamour spell. Where did you get it?" Bladetooth asked.

"I found..." Harry trailed off, as he realised he was still speaking with an Australian accent. He reached under his tongue, and pulled out a small black device. "I found a couple of people who specialise in disguises." He said, his voice back to normal.

"If you'll sign the documents, we will carry out your actions. We have begun moving all funds into the Potter Family Vault. Your emancipation declaration will be sent to the Ministry as soon as possible. The Black Family home has been sealed, and Floo access has been rescinded. Is there anything else Gringotts can help you with today."

"No, that's everything. Thanks for your help, Bladetooth." Harry reached up, pulling the cloak off. Underneath, he was wearing leather trousers, a black t-shirt, and a leather jacket. He reached into his jacket pocket, pulling his glasses out. "My Portkey will send me straight back to my previous co-ordinates, yeah?"

"Yes." Bladetooth replied.

Harry nodded, and squeezed the Portkey, sending him hurtling from the office.

* * *

The following day, all hell broke lose in England. A front-page spread in the _Daily_ _Prophet_ revealed that Harry was no longer in England. 

_**Boy-Who-Lived Vanished!**_

_**By: Rita Skeeter**_

_Yesterday, _DailyProphet_ reporters were given an anonymous tip that Harry Potter, 15, the famous Boy-Who-Lived, has vanished._

_During the Will reading of noted criminal Sirius Black, a proxy stood in for Mr. Potter, the first time such a thing has been allowed by the Goblins in over six centuries. The proxy, a man of apparent Australian heritage, accepted the bequest for Mr. Potter, before advising Mr. Potter's friends that he was unavailable for comment._

_When attempting to speak to Mr. Potter's friends who accompanied him to the Ministry break-in in June, we were told 'no comment'. This begs the question; what are they hiding?_

_Why has Mr. Potter chosen this time to leave the country? What could have happened to Mr. Potter that he felt he could not stay in England? And why now, after putting up with persecution and ridicule for the last ten months, has he decided to go?_

_And the most important question; now that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has returned within the last month, who will stand up to face him? Without the Chosen One on our side, do we stand a chance?_

_As more information becomes available, we here at the Daily Prophet, staunch supporter of Harry Potter, will get it to you._

* * *

Harry chuckled as he read the article. His campsite, protected under a Fidelius charm that had cost him the better part of 10,000 Galleons, was safely hidden in a ceremonial garden, with enough repelling charms on it that no-one would disturb him. 

'_Staunch support of Harry Potter?' 'Putting up with Persecution and ridicule...' I love the way they ignored the fact that they were the ones who were bloody well doing it._

* * *

The following day, the Prophet sold out. The letter from the missing man sparked an enormous amount of interest. 

_**Boy-Who-Lived Speaks Out!**_

_**Letter received from Harry Potter!**_

_Hello, readers of the Daily Prophet. My name is Harry Potter, the person you all vilified over the last year. One thing I love about your newspaper is that you were the ones who were, what was it you said? Oh, yeah, 'persecuting and ridiculing me' over the last year. And the people reading the newspaper believed every word. The Wizards of Britain are sheep. And I am not a shepherd. You said I was delusional and dangerous. Well, this should please you. I've left. I'm not returning. There... you should all feel safe now from the delusional liar. If there's anything you need from me... tough. I no longer care._

_As to 'without the Chosen one on our side, do we stand a chance'? Why the hell am I the 'Chosen One'? It's time you all grew a pair and started to fight for yourselves._

_When I came into the Wizarding World, I was hailed as a hero. Less than a year later, I was hated and shunned because it was revealed I'm a Parselmouth. A year later, I'm a hero again, resisting the attack of the vicious Sirius Black. A year after that, and I'm an attention-seeking liar for entering the Tri-Wizard Tournament. A competition I won, and was brought to You-Know-Who's (Editor's note: Mr. Potter actually wrote the name here. However, for public safety, we have changed it) resurrection party. I told that useless half-wit Fudge that he was back. And what do I get? A campaign of horror against me. Delusional. Attention-seeking. Liar._

_You then have the nerve to ask 'Why has Mr. Potter chosen this time to leave the country?' Why the hell should I stay? You people have sown the wind, you may now reap the whirlwind._

_Signed: Harry Potter_

_The-Boy-Who-No-Longer-Cares_

* * *

Dumbledore dropped the newspaper onto his desk, and lowered his face into his hands. After everything Harry had gone through, the loss of his friends and Godfather, combined with the knowledge of the prophecy, had pushed him over the edge. 

Coupled with the loss of Grimmauld Place, and the Order had no set place to meet.

* * *

Hermione looked at the _Prophet_, torn between feeling guilty, and feeling justified in her actions. It was true, Harry had gone through a lot. But, she had nearly been killed directly because of Harry's rashness in the battle. She slumped onto her bed, and thought.

* * *

Ron and Ginny read the paper. Their parents had been treating them like pariahs for the last few weeks. They were being blamed for Harry leaving! It was ridiculous. 

"I'm sick of this, Gin." Ron pouted. "It's not our fault! Harry nearly got us killed, and then he runs away! And we're being blamed for it."

Ginny sighed. "I can understand where they're coming from, though, Ron. I don't agree with it. I still think we're safer without him. But, you heard what Professor Dumbledore said. If Potter is the only one who can defeat You-Know-Who..."

"No, I don't believe that." Ron said firmly. "Potter was next to useless in class. How could he be the only person who can defeat him?"

"I don't know..." Ginny muttered. "But... if it's true... and he is the one... What have we done?"

* * *

Harry arrived at his new destination, and smiled warmly to himself. Thanks to the amazingly fast work of the Gringotts' Goblins, he had purchased a house, and a piece of Muggle transportation. 

He opened the front door, and took his first steps into his new home. It was a spacious bungalow, equipped with the latest in Muggle technology, and had several defensive wards, courtesy of the Goblins. Complete anti-apparition and anti-portkey wards covered nearly the entire street, and a small door at the back of the cellar led to a sewer that had been sealed off and emptied nearly half a century before, which was now just a dark tunnel. At the far end of the tunnel, Harry had hidden a backpack that held food, water, an emergency portkey and a large stash of Hong Kong Dollars.

He looked at the metal crate in the kitchen, marked 'Israeli Military Industries - Goblin Division', and raised the lid, eyes widening in surprise at the contents of the crate, and a smile crept across his face.

Hedwig, testing out her new perch, shuffled her wings, drawing Harry's attention to her.

"They'll be coming for us."

Amber eyes met green, and Harry could've sworn her following hoot said 'I know'.


	3. Arrivals and Conversations

– **CHAPTER THREE –**

**Arrivals and Confrontations**

Harry's stereo suddenly lit up, blasting out the lyrics from Johnny Hates Jazz's 'Shattered Dreams' Life, disturbing him from his semi-nap while he digested his lunch. _'So much for your promises, they died the day you let me go. I thought it was you, who would stand by my side.' And now you've tracked me down. And it only took you... let's see, carry the three... 9 months._

Harry heard the knock on the door, ambling over to open it. Standing on his front door step were the Ministry Five, and Lupin, all looking at him with distasteful looks on their faces. "Sorry, not interested in what you're selling."

"Shut up, Potter, and open the door."

"Oh. No." He started closing the door, before a foot shot out, jamming the space between the door and jam.

"I'd move that if I were you, Ron."

"Listen, Potter, open the door and let us in. You've got work to do."

Harry moved the door fractionally, before slamming it, hard, against Ron's foot, Harry's knee helping the door on its path. Ron yelped like a dog, before hopping backwards, hanging on to Lupin's shoulder while rubbing at his foot frantically. Harry smiled; he'd enjoyed that.

"So... is there something I can help you people with?" Harry asked formally.

"Harry... we've come to bring you home." Hermione said.

Harry cocked his head slightly in confusion. "I'm afraid I don't understand, Granger. I _am_ home. This is where I live." He gestured to the small bungalow behind him.

"No, Harry. We've come to take you back to England." Neville spoke up.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Longbottom. I have no wish to take a holiday in England at the moment." He turned around. "If I ever do desire to go there, I'll be sure to arrange it through an appropriate travel agent." Ignoring them, Harry entered his house, and locked the door behind them.

Hermione rolled her eyes, and knocked on the door.

* * *

Harry sat in his favourite recliner, and turned on the television. One of his favourite movies was about to start on satellite. He reached into the arm of his lazy-boy, and pulled out a bottle of beer. _Ah, perfect!_

A knock on the door interrupted his musings. _No. Just... just go away and leave me alone._

"Harry?" Hermione's voice called through the wooden door.

"Sorry, he's out at the moment. Should be back in about five, six months. Come back then." He shouted back.

"Harry James Potter, open this door at once!" Hermione ordered.

Harry ignored her, as the opening credits for the Bond film started. The lock clicked open, and Hermione opened the door.

"That's breaking and entering." Harry said, not looking up from the television.

"Well, if you'd let us in, I wouldn't have to, now, would I?" Hermione replied.

"And if I wanted you in my house, I'd've opened the door, now, wouldn't I?" Harry shot back, looking up and glaring at her.

Hermione came into the house, followed by the rest of the Ministry Crew, and Remus Lupin. "We need to speak to you, Harry."

Harry gestured to the couch. "Well, shut up until the end of the film. I've been waiting for this for a fortnight."

"What is it?" Ron asked.

"It's the latest Bond film, Goldeneye." Harry replied. "Now, shut up!"

"Harry, we don't have time..." Remus started. Harry raised the remote control, turning the volume up so it drowned Lupin out.

Neville looked around the room, seeing it sparse, but quite homey. He raised his wand, and sent a _Reducto_ curse at the squawking box, blowing it up.

Harry jumped up from his chair. "What the bloody hell are you doing?" He gestured at the telly. "Do you know how much that cost?"

"Frankly, don't care." Neville replied. "Need to speak to you." He settled back in the couch. "Maybe now you'll listen to us."

Harry stared at him incredulously for a moment, then shook his head. "I did listen to you, Longbottom. You didn't want anything to do with me. The magical population in Britain treated me like shit, so I left. I did what you wanted. You have no right to come into my home, destroy my possessions, and demand that I speak to you."

Harry grabbed his leather jacket, and headed to the door. Ron stood up, and blocked his path. "Move, Weasley."

Ron shook his head. Harry didn't even stop, he punched Ron in the stomach, and lifted his knee, smashing it into the other man's face. Ron dropped to the floor, wheezing and mewing in pain. Harry looked down at the fallen man. "Told ya."

Harry exited the house, and went into the garage, where his motorcycle was stored. He wheeled it out, and started it up.

"Harry!" Hermione shouted. "How dare you attack Ron?"

"Quite easily." Harry replied, zipping up his jacket. "Now, since you've destroyed my TV, I'm going to the pub, so I can watch my film there." He mounted the bike, and roared off.

Hermione stamped her foot and growled. "Ooh... the nerve of that man!" She stalked out to the minivan the group had rented. "Come on. We'll follow him."

* * *

Harry smoothly guided his bike down the road, fuming inside. _After nine months, they think they can just walk back into my life, and I'll roll over and play nice with them? Delusional bloody fools. And my telly! Goldeneye!_

He looked in one of his rear-view mirrors and groaned. Behind him, and approaching quickly was a mini-van, with a determined bushy-haired witch in the driver's seat. A fun thought popped into his mind. He grinned, as he accelerated slowly.

* * *

Hermione's teeth were gritted as she followed the motorcyclist. As soon as she caught up, she was going to be having words with the arrogant pillock.

* * *

Harry turned onto the motorway, and opened up the throttle, causing the bike to jump forward. He passed the speed-limit, continuing to accelerate.

* * *

Hermione followed him, seeing his bike leap forward. She gnashed her teeth, and jammed her foot to the floor. The mini-van's little engine roared, as she began the pursuit.

* * *

Harry's bike was far superior to the mini-van, as he got further in front. Feeling impish, he allowed the cycle to slow a little, so that the mini-van could keep up.

* * *

Hermione held the steering wheel in a death-grip, as the mini-van tried to shake itself to pieces around her. It was clearly not designed for a high-speed pursuit, but she was going to keep up with Harry Bloody Potter if it was the last thing she did!

"Hermione!" Remus called over the shaking. "What are we doing?"

"I'm not going to let him escape, Remus!" Hermione shouted back.

Neville and Ron were clinging on to the armrests for dear life, while Luna sat back, calm and serene. "You do know he's toying with us, don't you?" She asked.

"What?" Hermione snapped.

"His vehicle is far faster. He's allowing us to keep up with him." Luna smiled at Hermione. "I do believe he's enjoying himself."

Hermione scowled, and tried to coax a bit more speed out of the poor van.

* * *

Harry could see the van starting to shake, clearly going faster than was safe. He slowed down slightly, so that he was level with the van, waving at the driver, who was scowling furiously at him, and, if the gesturing he was seeing was correct, was hoping to remove parts of his anatomy with only fingernails and minimal anaesthetic. Seeing an exit coming up, he waited until the last moment, then cut across three lanes, hearing other cars beep their horns at him. He managed to get to the slip road in time, and left the motorway behind.

* * *

Hermione saw Harry swerve, and tried to follow. Unfortunately, the stressed Mini-van wouldn't be able to make it in time. Hermione ignored the horn blasts from behind, and straightened up the van. "We'll come off at the next junction, and work out way back." She said through her gritted teeth.

By now, even Remus was becoming a little scared of Hermione's single bloody-mindedness. "Uh... Hermione?" He asked.

"What?" She snarled at him.

Remus was a werewolf... and this attitude from Hermione scared him. At that point, he realised that she was indeed the Alpha of the group. And it scared him far more than he wanted to admit. "Uh... shouldn't we... you know... wait until Harry gets home? We could confront him them, maybe?"

Hermione growled at the back of her throat. "When we catch up with him, Remus, I intend to have a few words with our wayward Mr. Potter. And probably rip his bollocks off as well. Haven't quite decided that yet."

* * *

It took two hours for the Ministry group to locate Harry again... at his house, watching the closing credits of the Bond Film on his now-repaired television.

Hermione strode up to the door, letting herself in before marching over to Harry, and slapping him across the face. "How dare you do this to me, Harry!" She shouted.

Harry looked up, his face void of expression. "I beg your pardon?" He replied softly.

"Making me chase all over the bloody country looking for you, while you sit here, drinking beer and watching telly!"

Harry shot to his feet, startling Hermione, who staggered back a step. "'Made you', Granger? I didn't make you do dick." He reached up, and rubbed the side of his face. "And you got that one for free. You get a response next time."

The rest of the group entered the house, and deposited themselves on various seats. Harry looked around them all exasperated. "Do you normally just let yourself into somebody else's house?" He shook his head. "In my book, it's rude... and not the way to gain somebody's co-operation."

Neville shrugged. "To be perfectly frank, Harry, we don't really give a shit what you want. We're here to take you back to England. The only reason we've pissed about this much is to give you the chance to pack up your belongings before we take you back."

Harry stared at him. "And why exactly are you here to bring me back?"

"We need you to fight You-Know-Who for us." Ginny said, looking down her nose at him. "I know you got scared and ran away, but you need to face up to your responsibilities."

"Excuse me?" Harry asked. He couldn't believe what they were saying. "You told me to go. You didn't want me around then. Since when the hell did this become _my _responsibility?"

"It's your destiny, Harry." Hermione replied primly. "The prophecy spoke about you being the one to defeat Voldemort." She looked around the living room. "Now, be quick, and grab whatever you want to take back with you." She looked at her watch. "We're on a pretty tight deadline."

"Are you people even listening to me?" Harry asked.

"When you say something worth listening to, we'll consider it. For now, pack up your belongings, and let's go." Remus said.

Harry shook his head, before heading over to the sideboard. "I'll tell you what." He opened the draw, and pulled something out, shielding it behind his back. "I'll let you walk out of here now unharmed." He grinned. "You had no problem walking away last year. I'd suggest a repeat of that."

All six drew their wands, and pointed them at Harry. Harry squeezed one of the items he had removed from the drawer, casting a very strong _Protego_ shield around himself. He raised the other item, a large pistol.

"You can't take us all, Potter!" Ron snapped, stepping slightly to his right, to give himself a clear shot. "You're just acting like a Muggle."

Harry nodded. "I am a Muggle now, Weasley. As such, I have access to an interesting collection of weaponry."

"You can't beat magic." Ron said arrogantly.

"I don't know, Weasley. 21 grams of copper-jacketed lead travelling at the speed of sound will do some pretty mean damage to you." Harry retorted, carefully aiming the pistol at Ron's head. "The question is, will your magic protect you from that?"

Ron was about to snap back at Harry, before Hermione raised her hand, cutting him off. "Harry, do you really expect me to believe that you would shoot your friends."

Harry lowered the weapon slightly. "Of course I wouldn't shoot my friends." He said softly. Hermione grinned, but stopped when Harry yanked the slide back on the pistol, and aimed directly at her. "But then again, you are _not_ my friends. What was it you said? Oh, yes; 'Harry, you're on your own'. Newsflash, Granger; I survived without you. I'll continue to survive without you." Harry's left hand suddenly shot up, forming a right angle to his body, a second pistol in his hand, pointing directly at Lupin. "Remus, nice try." He glanced to his right, where the werewolf had been sidling for a blind-side shot. "You can join the others _now_."

Remus snarled slightly. "You forget, Harry... your gun can't hurt me."

"_You_ forget, Remus... a bullet can't hurt a werewolf. You're a werewolf for less than 12 hours per month. The rest of the time, you're as human as I am. A hollow-point bullet taking your head clean off? You're spam, just like the rest of them." He turned his head slightly, still keeping his eyes on the other five. "You may leave now. After all, I wouldn't want it to be my fault that _yet another_ Marauder dies, would I?"

"Harry..." Remus said softly.

"Enough!" Harry commanded. "You all made your feelings regarding me clear back in June. Leave now... or there will be trouble."

Hermione glanced at Lupin, who shook his head slightly. They couldn't risk any damage to Harry. He'd need to be in top form to kill Voldemort.

Lupin sighed, and lowered his wand. "Fine. We'll leave." He jabbed his wand back into his robes. "But rest assured, Harry. We'll be back."

"Oh, joy." His weapons never wavered. "You know, Lupin, that's the first thing you've said that I have no doubt of." Harry kept the pistol aimed at Hermione. Lupin gestured to the rest of the group, who grudgingly lowered their wands.

"This isn't over, Potter!" Ron snarled.

"It is for you, Weasley!" Harry shot back. "You've failed. Tell them to send somebody competent next time." The group trailed out of the house, and clambered into the mini-van. "I'll be waiting." He whispered.

Harry watched, to make sure all six had truly left, when he pulled out a cell-phone. He pressed the speed-dial.

"It's me. It's happened."

* * *

Hermione pulled the mini-van around the corner, and parked up. "What now?"

Neville leaned forward. "Can't we just sneak back under disillusionment and hit him with the Portkey?"

"Do you really want to take the chance?" Lupin asked. He shook his head. "No, he'll be far too on edge now." He looked at his watch. "It's 6:15pm. Harry should be quite paranoid right now. If we give him just enough time to let that develop, he'll be too wound up to sleep. He'll be tired and sloppy. We'll get him then."

Luna shook her head. "It won't work. Even now, he's planning to run. I wouldn't be surprised if he's already left the house."

* * *

Hiding under his invisibility cloak just feet from the van, he smiled to himself. Luna really was quite on the ball. It's a shame she sided against him.

"Well, he doesn't know what we're planning." Hermione said confidently. "I say one of us goes back to England with the Portkey, and brings back reinforcements. Including Madame Pomfrey. We need Potter to win this war for us, and I'm not gonna let his bloody ego get in the way. Or this newly developed martyr complex."

_My ego? That's rich, Granger._ Harry thought to himself. It was a good thing he had set up all those contingency plans when he arrived in Hong Kong, or he'd be right royally buggered at this point. _Never underestimate the power of the Goblins._

Ron extended his hand. "I'll go back. Really don't wanna deal with Potter at the moment. Smug git. If I see him again, I'll curse him on general principle."

"I know how you feel." Ginny sighed. "He never used to be this obnoxious or arrogant."

"Yes, he did." Luna said. "At that point, though, we weren't looking at his flaws so obviously."

_Hey, I resent that! I'm not the obnoxious ones! I didn't burst into your home and practically kidnap you. You bunch of hypocritical fuckers!_ He stared at Ginny wistfully, wondering when they'd all started to convince themselves that he'd run in cowardice, rather than be pushed away. _And where's that crush gone, Red? You used to be so sappy around me. Shame._

* * *

Ron vanished from the car, unknown that their adversary was now resting gently on the side of the mini-van, cleaning under his nails with a small pocketknife.

Remus ran a hand through his hair. "It'll probably take a while for Ron to gather enough resources to come back."

Hermione leaned back in the driver's seat. "Did anybody bring any cards?"

"Brought a traveller's chess set." Ginny said, reaching under her seat for it. "It's not Wizarding chess, but it should do."

"I brought a book." Remus said, digging a huge tome from the back of the van.

Luna simply held up the newest copy of the Quibbler, turned it upside down, and started to read.

Neville held up his own entertainment, a copy of Herbology Monthly. Hermione looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "What?" He asked. "It's good to keep up with research in the field."

"Neville." Hermione said primly. "We are at war. Reading about the latest experiments to cross-breed plants is hardly relevant."

_Granger's telling Neville _not_ to do research? Have I landed in some strange cosmic alternative reality? Damn those sci-fi shows anyway! Except Babylon 5. Go PTEN!_

It took over an hour for the reinforcements to show up. At this point, Harry was bored out of his mind listening to the five bicker in the van. _It's a wonder they haven't killed each other yet. Course, that'd thin out the odds against me._

A group of at least a dozen individuals appeared out of nowhere, causing Harry to straighten up, and move behind the van. He quickly saw Dumbledore and Moody, and dropped down, hoping that whatever tricks the two used to see through invisibility cloaks wouldn't work through the light industrial steel of a vehicle as well.

Dumbledore immediately took charge. "Where is he?"

Hermione opened the door, and stretched. "He lives at Number 1405, Professor. We've been watching the house from here, and he hasn't come out."

Harry chuckled, stuffing his fist into his mouth to make sure they couldn't hear him. If this was the calibre of the Order's resources now, they really were well and truly screwed.

Moody started stomping up the street, closely followed by the rest of the Order, leaving the minivan abandoned. Harry slowly got up, and stood behind the tailgate, watching them, and waiting to be discovered.

Mad-Eye was about to smash the door down, when he felt a sudden urge to look behind him. He turned, his magical eye easily spotting Potter leaning against the side of the Muggle vehicle, jauntily waving his fingers at them.

"Potter..." He drawled. Dumbledore spun round, his glasses allowing him to see the same as Moody. The remaining members of the Order spun round, seeing nothing but the minivan.

"Where?" Hermione asked quickly.

"He's leaning against that bloody contraption you were all sat in." Moody snarled. "Didn't I teach you anything about checking for eavesdroppers?" He ignored Hermione as she started to blush.

"Harry, good to see you, dear boy!" Dumbledore called out. "Would you care to join us?"

Harry pulled the cloak off, revealing himself. The five who'd been sat in the van suddenly felt very foolish.

"No. It was made bloody clear to me that it's not good to see me. That's why I've had people threatening to hex me." He sighed, and took a quick glance around. "Why are you here?"

Dumbledore smiled in his usual grandfatherly fashion, his eyes twinkling madly. "We've come to take you home, Harry. You've been away for too long."

"That's certainly open to interpretation, Headmaster. I don't think I've been away for long enough at all." Harry replied. He was keeping his eyes open for spellwork from the Order members. One of them somewhere would be thinking about wards.

"Your friends have missed you, Harry." Dumbledore said, gesturing to the five.

"Really? I must have missed that when they told me that they were kidnapping me no matter what I said. Then again, it could have been when they said I got scared and ran away. Or, it could be when they said I had to go back and kill Voldemort, because it was _my_ responsibility." Harry saw Hestia Jones discretely palm her wand.

"Jones, stand down." Moody called out suddenly. "We don't want a fight here."

Harry nodded. "That's a very good point, Moody." He cocked his head. "Does that mean you want to tell Fletcher to get out from behind me as well?"

Moody laughed. "Constant Vigilance, eh, Potter?" He nodded. "Dung, get over here." The dirty shambling man shuffled round the front of the vehicle, keeping his hands raised.

"Now that we've got that cleared up, Harry, and proved that we mean you no harm, we really should be going. There's a great deal of training we need to get though. The sooner we get started, the sooner you can end this ghastly business, and return to Hogwarts."

Harry ran one hand through his hair. "Do you remember when I said 'I don't care' all those months ago? Or the part where I was giving up my magic. I haven't picked up a wand in nine months, Dumbledore. I don't intend to pick one up now."

"Harry, you must-"

"I mustn't do anything. There is only one must in my life at the moment. And that is; I must make my own choices. I choose not to return with you. None of you want me there."

"That is simply not true." Dumbledore replied, eyes still twinkling. "We all want you to come home."

"No." Harry said, his voice as hard as ice. "You want the 'Boy-Who-Lived', final weapon against Lord Voldemort back, not Harry. Sorry, old man, not gonna happen."

Dumbledore sighed. "Then you leave us little choice, Harry." As one, the Order raised their wands, and left off a barrage of stunning spells, the combined flash blinding everyone for a moment. When they opened their eyes, there was no stunned body on the ground, just a piece of parchment.

Hermione rushed over, picking up the parchment. On it was a brief note.

_Hermione, Luna and Ginny. You all look pretty cute. If any, or all, of you fancy a quickie, or something considerably longer and more energetic, come and fine me. HJP – Last of the REAL Marauders_

Dumbledore took the note, reading it and scowling. "Where has he gone?"

Moody's eye whirred. "It was a Portkey. From what I can tell, it was international, maybe even intercontinental."

"So, he could be anywhere in the world." Tonks snapped. "We spent the best part of six months tracking him down to Hong Kong, and now we have to start again!" She turned, and kicked the side of the van. "Bastarding bollocking shite!"

She took the note, and read it for herself. "That's it? He ruins our chances, and wants a shag?" As she was reading it a second time, more text was added, shocking her. She held out the note, letting the other members see it. "It's changing!"

_Tonks, if you feel left out, I could always include you in my plans for world domination... or the Happy Harry Harem, as it's also called. Since you're a Metamorph, I bet you could show me a few new tricks._

"What, can he hear us?" Hermione asked.

_Yes, I can._ The note changed.

"Harry, where are you?" Tonks asked.

_Do you really expect me to answer that question with the whole Order listening? You should be careful, Tonks. I'd think you're trying to take advantage of my trust instead of my body._

"This is not the time for joking around!" Hermione exploded.

_Yes, it is. It's the perfect time. In times of great stress, a good joke or prank can really improve the mood._

"It's not working." Dumbledore said sternly.

_All right, then. Allow me to put it another way; in times of great stress, a good joke or prank can really improve MY mood. How's that?_

"Surprisingly, it's not improving mine at all." Ginny snapped.

_Ah, 'ickle Gin-Gin. I could drastically improve your mood. All you have to do is... well... I'll leave that to your imagination. Anyway, got to go. My flight's about to leave._

Remus reached over, and grabbed the parchment. He looked it over, and had a thought. "This is Mr. Moony."

_Ah, Mr. Moony. Mr. Swiftfoot would like to welcome you to the Marauder's Noteblock. This specialised note will allow communication between two or more people though charmed parchments._

Lupin sighed. "I can't tell if it's live or not." He said. "The enchantments look pretty similar to the Marauder's Map. That was also spelled to allow limited communication between the map and the user."

_Yes, but I'm not a map._

Lupin looked down and scowled. "Yes, I know that." He snapped.

_Mr. Swiftfoot would like to advise Mr. Moony that frowning will cause wrinkles, and should be avoided. And what the hell is that stain on those robes? Try shaking a bit harder._

"Can you see me right now?" Lupin asked, surreptitiously drawing his wand, and glancing around the neighbourhood.

_Mr. Swiftfoot would like to advise Mr. Moony that he can see you. Can you see me? Oh, now be honest, Moony, you do prefer it this way, one... Marauder to another? No peace in our time._

"No. I'd rather have Sirius back and you dead." Remus said bluntly.

"Remus!" Tonks snapped. "What the hell is that for?"

He looked up, about to snap something else, when he quickly glanced down at the parchment.

_Strike three, Mr. Moony. You're out._

The parchment burst into flames, burning the ends of Lupin's fingers before he could drop it. "Crap." He muttered.

Moody glared at him. "That was our only possible communication link to Potter... and you couldn't control yourself for five minutes."

Hermione plopped herself onto the grass of Harry's front yard, and pouted. It was all going so horribly wrong. A paper aeroplane jabbed itself into her head. She snatched it out of the sky, and was about to throw it away, when she felt the weight. It certainly didn't feel like paper. It felt like... parchment.

She quickly pulled it open, and saw another piece of parchment. She looked up at Dumbledore. "Sir, I've just found another parchment."

_You've just 'found' me? Or, 'It's just hit me on the head while I was sulking'?_

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore said. "You will need to proceed carefully. We need to know where Mr. Potter is, so that we can persuade him to return."

_Yes. Proceed carefully._

"Sir..." Hermione looked up, trying to control the grin she feared was coming out. "The parchment heard you."

Dumbledore blinked several times, then threw his hands up in defeat. "Do what you can, Miss Granger."

_Yes. 'Do what you can.' God, I love annoying him. It's one of life's few pleasures. I always love watching the big guy squirm._

"That's hardly mature, Harry." Hermione admonished gently.

_If attempted kidnapping, assault and almost blinding me with stunning spells is mature, then I really don't care. I presume he's told you all about the prophecy by now. That's why you were all telling me that it's my responsibility to kill old Voldie._

"You're the only one who can." Hermione replied softly.

_Ah... Does that justify breaking into my home, threatening me, chasing me with your van, and by the way, the look on your face was priceless when you were driving. Anger and determination... kinda how I imagine your orgasm face, to be honest._

"Well... that answers whether this is live or a charm." Hermione said, looking up at Lupin. "It's talking about the car chase."

Remus scowled.

_If he comes near me, I'll burn. You should be careful. There's only three pieces of parchment. You've got one, I've got the other, and the third just burnt Remus' fingers. If this one goes up, you'll truly lose me._

"Fine."

_By the way, I like the way you say you'll have a few words with me... and then rip my bollocks off. You do know... them's fighting words, don't ya?_

"Did I?" Hermione asked, wondering how the hell Harry knew what she'd said while driving, and he was on his bike.

_Yes, you did. Personally, I'm glad you just slapped my face. If you'd ripped my bollocks off, I'd've been quite upset._

"I'm sure."

_So... other than your misguided belief that I should return to the UK to kill Voldemort, what did you guys want with me?_

"Uh..."

_Ah... it was just that, then. Pity._

"Why?"

_I thought you might've thought about what you said to me last June. I think it's plain what your opinion on the matter is. For five years, we stood, shoulder to shoulder, battling the forces of evil. Christ, I sound like some superhero TV show. Then, you just decide to ditch me. It hurt._

"I don't suppose a simple apology will cut it, huh?"

_Nope. I will tell you this, and you can pass it on to the rest of the Ministry group: Redemption is possible. However, I'm still gonna shoot Ron, just on general principle._

Hermione looked up. "Neville, Ginny, Luna. Harry says that redemption is possible."

"And why would we want to redeem ourselves?" Luna asked, genuinely curious.

_Oh, I see. So, you don't feel bad about abandoning me, and you don't feel bad about me living on my own, rejected by the closest thing I had to family. You're only talking to me now, I guess, because Voldemort killing you and destroying the Wizarding World as we know it cuts in to your future plans. That's a pity, really, because, I will only fight for my friends. And I'm out of them. Ah well. Guess it's time to burn, baby, burn, disco inferno!_

The edge of the paper suddenly flared, and Hermione swatted at it, calling out "Harry, wait!" The flame, unencumbered by Hermione trying to pat it out of existence, suddenly died.

_Yes? Tell me, Granger, is it fear of death that prompted that, is it the pain of shattered friendship, or are you just as horny as I am, and have decided that only some 'Harry-loving' will cure your ills? And you, Luna. I was your friend. I didn't call you Loony. I didn't steal your possessions. I didn't ask you to come to the Ministry with me. Hell, I even bought you pudding in the Three Broomsticks. And yet, you decided that coming with me on a very dangerous mission, where you knew, you KNEW, Voldemort would be there, and then decide to shun me, because of an injury I wasn't responsible for._

The parchment cleared.

_Ron, you're a dick. Neville, it was only a coin toss that made me the Boy-Who-Lived and not you. Do you think I would've just told you to sod off, if I'd decided to accompany you on a mission I knew to be dangerous and was injured. No. And Ginny? Can you tell me when you and the rest of you all stuck your own heads up your bums, and decided that I was too scared to face Voldemort, because I'd love to know. You all said to me "We're all afraid." I wasn't. "Because of your stupidity, we were all hurt" you told me. Well, since I have no friends, because of YOUR stupidity, you'll all die._

The parchment cleared once more.

_So, tell me, Luna, why should you seek redemption? Why shouldn't you? What did I do wrong, to deserve what you did to me?_

Hermione thought for a moment, then gathered the rest of the group up, dragging them towards the mini-van. She closed the doors, and shut the windows.

_Don't forget Tonks. And maybe Hestia, too. She's worth one._

Hermione rolled her eyes, and called the other two young women over, who climbed into the van.

"All right, Hermione, why are we crammed in this tin can?" Jones asked.

"Because," Hermione said, holding up the parchment. "Harry's communicating with us, and has requested that we be here.

Hestia read the last message, and snorted in amusement. "Only one, Potter?" She asked.

_Well... maybe a screaming multiple, but you'd have to prove that your worth it. Mind you, if you keep wearing those Dragonhide pants, I think you might prove it. You've got a cracking arse. I bet I could bounce a Galleon off it._

Hermione rolled her eyes again. She seemed to be doing that a lot with this conversation.

"So, where are you?" Luna asked.

_Oh, I'm quite safe. Keeping an eye on you all, though. Somebody should tell Dung not to pick his nose in public. It's a grim habit._

All in the van looked to see Dung bravely fishing about in his nostril, causing them all to grimace in disgust.

_And now that I've proved this is live, we really do need to talk._

"About what?" Neville asked.

_Well, like I told you, Nev, breaking into my house and telling me that you're going to kidnap me is quite rude. Especially after you all told me that I was young, stupid and dangerous to know, and that none of you wanted anything to do with me. Then, barging into my house and telling me that you're kidnapping me..._

"Okay, we get it." Ginny snapped.

_Are you PMSing? You seem very irritable, Ginevra. Maybe you should get laid. Do wonders for your sunny disposition._

"Watch it, Potter!" She snarled.

_Why? What are you going to do? Rip up my parchment? You'll lose me utterly, then. I wasn't hiding when I was in Hong Kong. Suffice to say, I'll hide this time. A simple Fidelius charm and the world will never see Harry Potter again. Be nice, ickle Gin-Gin._

"Do you have to be so fucking irritating, Potter?" Ginny shouted.

_Yes. It's fun. And you really are aggressive, aren't you? If you put this much effort in to sex as you do to being rude to me, I bet you're just utter filth. And I mean that in a good way._

Ginny crossed her arms over her chest angrily, before slumping back in her chair. "Fine. I'll be nice."

_There ya go! What about you, Luna? You gonna get nasty with me?_

"Depends what kind of nasty you want, Harry." Luna replied, her eyes shiny with amusement.

_Ooh... Almost worth telling you where I am. Minx. You've done a very good job of growing up, you know. And growing out. In all the right places._

"You were telling us about redemption." Hermione said, clearing her throat, trying to get everyone back on track.

_Shush, Hermione, I'm flirting here. _Shakes Head _Fine. Redemption. Yes, it's possible._

"And what do we have to do?" Neville asked, fearing the worst.

_Ah, step one of your redemption is figuring out what to do to earn your redemption. It's not like I'm going to say 'you must do these 3 things, and you're redeemed'. Redemption is atoning for your past mistakes. Tonks, you and Jones don't need redemption, because you haven't really done anything except follow Dumbledore's orders to shoot at me. And, may I take the liberty of saying, you're both... reasonable shots. 6/10._

"Six!" Tonks squealed. "I'll have you know that I'm in the top ten of Auror Academy duellists!"

Jones cleared her throat. "And I'm in the top five." She said dryly, clearly amused with Tonks' outrage.

_And I'm probably one of the best marksmen in the world. Plus, when I was leading the DA, I was learning quite a bit._

"We all were, Harry. Where would you rate me?" Hermione asked softly.

_Well, I'd rate you in the bedroom, if I ever got a chance._

"What's gotten into you?" Ginny snapped. "You've never been like this!"

_Like what?_

"Well... flirty... and confident." Ginny looked puzzled. "And a little obsessed."

_Well... nine months of nothing to do _but_ flirt will really improve your technique. Since I can't have a g/f, or even a bloody date, I don't get much opportunity to do anything else. And before you ask, I haven't forgotten that bloody prophecy. I know that Voldemort will come for me one day. I couldn't take the risk._

"So... that's why you're flirting with everyone in this van." Tonks concluded.

_Well, almost everyone. I mean, don't get me wrong, Neville, you're a fine figure of a man, but... well... I don't seek for that team. I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that. If that lights your candle, mate, you go for it._

"I'm not gay." Neville said, looking confused.

_Oh... in that case, I'd have words with Seamus when you get back to school, then, Neville. He seems to think you are, and he's just waiting for a chance to pounce. A couple of times, I've had to tell him not to climb in to you bed while you were asleep. Seriously, mate, watch your arse._

Luna burst out laughing. "From what you've said, I don't think he needs to. Seamus watches it enough."

_And let's not even start on Colin Creevey. Creepy little fucker's benter than a three-galleon coin. He stalks the Quidditch Locker Room showers, did you know? With a camera. A camera!_

"How is that relevant?" Jones asked, trying to hold her laughter in.

_Just need to establish my hetero credential, Hestia. By the way, your hair looks lovely that way. Although, I'm not sure about the Brazilian cut, myself._

Hestia shot up, crossing her legs. "Where the fuck are you, Potter?"

_I'm here._

"Where's here?" She demanded angrily, looking around, hoping to catch a glimpse of him hiding.

_Not there. Nor am I under that hedge. Could be behind that tree... hang on... No, I'm not._

"Answer me!"

_I did._

"No, you didn't!"

_Yes, I did. You just didn't like the answer._

"I can see why Ginny finds you so annoying."

_Hey! We've all got out peculiarities. Ron eats anything in sight, Hermione's a know-it-all, Ginny will snap at anything, thus proving that thing about Reds and tempers, Neville's oblivious to anything that isn't a plant, Luna sees things that no-one else does, Dumbledore's obsessed with Lemon Drops, Tonks has NO balance, and I'm so irritating, I could teach things to tropical skin diseases._

Hermione read the last rant, and nodded. "It's true." She looked at each of her companions in the vehicle. "That's pretty much true of all of us. Especially him."

"Doesn't mean we have to like it." Ginny sulked, sharing pouts with Tonks and Hestia.

_So... redemption. It's yours to seek. You may begin whenever you like. Just know this... I'll be watching you. And also, the odd Legilimens check._

"How do we keep in touch with you?" Hermione asked.

_Keep the parchment. It's like instant messenger on a computer. Oh, and a little note to all the ladies in the van, before I go._

The women looked at each other with trepidation, before letting out a shaky 'Yes?'

_Wow, that's enthusiasm!_

"Get on with it!" Tonks and Hestia shouted together.

_Okay, okay. Well, I like black silk, so you'll need to replace your wardrobe with appropriate items, I hate leg and armpit hair, so keep yourselves tidy._

"And we'll do this... why?" Ginny snapped.

_Ah, come on, firecracker. You know you love me really. Getting back to a serious topic; I WILL ONLY FIGHT FOR MY FRIENDS. Or my fuck buddies. They'd do, I suppose. Remember this._

The text on the parchment faded away, leaving everyone pondering what had been said. Tonks and Hestia glanced at each other, communicating by glances, then shrugging and nodding.

"What's a 'Brazilian Cut'?" Neville asked.

Hermione sniggered. "I'll tell you when you're older, Neville."

Neville groaned. "That's what my Gran always says."


	4. Antagonise and Confuse

**Author's Note:** This is where the story diverts. It's been heavily edited to make it (I hope) better. I think it is, anyway.

* * *

– **CHAPTER FOUR –**

_**Antagonise and Confuse**_

"Well, it's official." Neville said, dumping his books back onto the coffee table. "I don't have a bloody clue how we're going to do this.

The parchment, currently in Hermione's pocket, made a chiming noise. She quickly pulled it out, straightened it, and placed it on the table.

_Neville, I'm shocked at you, giving up so easily._

"Well, if you'd give me a bloody clue..." Neville groused.

_I already have. Several, in fact. It's not my fault you haven't picked up on them._

Hermione took the parchment. "Can you hear everything that goes on around the parchment?"

_Yes. And in a lot of cases, see it, too._

"So... you know what we've been up to, then?" Ginny asked.

_Yes. Including you and your wand this morning, young lady. I didn't know a wand could vibrate._

"And is it working towards our redemption?" Hermione asked, looking a little fearful, while Ginny went bright pink.

_No. You should remember the serious note I left last time._

"'I will only fight for my friends', you said."

_Ah... you were paying attention._

"It kinda got lost amongst the flirting and sex jokes." Ginny groused.

_Still at Red Alert, Gin-gin? Don't worry, you'll be okay in a couple of days._

"Why are you doing this to me?" She asked, arching her brow.

_Basically, because it's fun. Plus, I liked it when you were lusting after me. Admittedly, didn't like the squeaking and sticking elbows in the butter dish, but I did like it when you'd get all hot and bothered when I entered a room._

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?" Ginny asked, head now buried in her hands.

_Gee... let me think about that one for a minute... Er... no, I'm not. I liked it. Made me feel all tingly... you know... down there._

"Harry, please stop flirting with Ginevra, and help us out with our redemption." Hermione said, looking annoyed at the parchment.

_Sorry, Hermione... Did you want me to flirt with you instead? Or, you could go and get a couple of others, and I'll flirt with all of you?_

Hermione tried to stifle the grin. Really, she did. "I wouldn't mind." Ginny glared at her.

"Hey, he was my crush! I get first refusal!" Ginny snapped.

_First refusal? That's hardly a ringing endorsement, Ginevra. Just so you know, they'll always be a place in my harem for you, Ginny dear._

"Your harem, Harry? What makes you think I'd join your harem?" Ginny felt quite amused.

_Couple of reasons; one, I'm a bloody animal, and you can't resist; two, you really want to nail the BWL; and three, I'm adorable. How could you say no?_

"I'm sure we could find a way, Harry. Arrogance isn't a good personality trait." Hermione mused.

_And you, Hermione. Everybody from second year up knows you want me. Besides, if I was to defeat Voldemort, would anyone dare refuse me a harem?_

"But you're just assuming we'd all join it." Hermione replied, openly grinning now.

_Can you honestly say that you'd refuse? You'd let somebody else have me?_

Hermione thought for a moment, then shrugged. "No, I couldn't say that." She looked over at Ginny, who shrugged, and nodded. "And neither could Ginny. Luna would happily join, just 'cause she could. I know Padma's been lusting after you since first year. Same for Susan Bones."

_Ooh... Two fiery red-heads, two gorgeous brainy girls, and Luna, who could probably come up with all sorts of nasty little things to do. Be still my beating loins._

"Still think you're going to get me killed." Neville spoke up. "Haven't forgiven you for that."

_Do I really need to remind you of the basic facts? I tried to leave you behind, and you all, note: ALL refused to stay behind. So, Neville old-chap, don't go unloading that shit on me. You chose to come, you got hurt. Not my fault. Now back off._

Hermione looked up, and gestured angrily at Neville, scowling.

_You tell him, Hermione!_

"How the hell can you see us, Harry?" Hermione asked, looking around the common room.

_Would you really like me to share my secrets, Hermione? Wouldn't you rather work it out on your own?_

"No."

_Fine. Spoil all my bloody fun. Stand up, turn around, and go over to the table next to the bookcase._

Hermione followed the direction, standing at the table where the chess sets were normally stored.

_Now, look at the box next to the green chess board. You'll find what appears to be a small, clear marble. Hold it up to the light._

She picked it up, and looked. Inside, there appeared to be a tiny eye.

_That's one of the many surveillance devices I have stash in the Gryff tower._

"Where else do you have them?" Hermione asked, suddenly looking very nervous.

_Oh... here and there._

"There's one in the showers, isn't there?" Hermione asked, throwing the sphere to Ginny.

_No._

Hermione snorted. "I don't believe that at all, Harry. The chance to watch naked girls showering? Somehow, I just can't see it."

_Oh, I'm accurate. There isn't ONE in the showers. And please, don't throw the eyes, I get seasick if you do._

"How many?"

_I don't know what you mean, Miss Granger. I'm a good little boy._

"Bollocks, Harry. How long have they been in there?"

_Couldn't possibly tell you, what with you being a prefect and all. You might spank me._

"Would you enjoy that, Harry?" Ginny asked, looking amused at Hermione's face, while blowing a kiss at the marble.

_No. Although, from what I understand, you might wanna ask Susan Bones and Luna about that. I'm sure they'd be able to give you a fascinating story._

"Remind me again why we're putting up with this crap." Ginny muttered.

_You know what? You're right. Strike three, Ginny. You're out._

Hermione looked up with horror, as the parchment burst into flame. Ginny looked up. "What?"

Gritting her teeth, Hermione answered. "Do you remember the part where only Harry can defeat You-Know-Who?" Ginny nodded. "And do you remember that Harry said he would only fight for his friends?" Ginny nodded again. "And do you know that you've just pissed him off, and we've lost the last link we had to him?"

Ginny's eyes widened in realisation. "But... surely he can't... he wouldn't... Oh, bollocks!" She looked up at Hermione. "What can we do?"

"Nothing, now." Hermione said. "Harry said there were only three pieces of parchment. Remus caused one to be destroyed, Harry had the original... and you've just lost us the final one. We now have no way of contacting Harry."

"That's crap, Hermione." Neville spoke up. "He was talking to you for days. He still thinks of you as a friend. He wouldn't just abandon you."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "He wasn't talking to me as a friend, Neville, he was just flirting with me on the off chance of getting in to my pants. And it was working. And in case you didn't notice, he was flirting with anything female. I don't think he was being serious at all." She shook her head. "We've lost him, now. The world is doomed."

* * *

The following day's _Daily Prophet_ certainly seemed to agree with Hermione's statement. Another letter was received from the Boy-Who-Lived, and it certainly was not good news.

**_Letter Received from the missing Chosen One!_**

_Dear Wizarding World. Do you remember me? The 'Chosen One', the 'Boy-Who-Lived'? Of course you all do. You were vilifying me, then calling me a hero. I told you all I was leaving, and again I'm vilified as a coward, for running away and leaving you behind to your fate._

_Why should I fight for you? Do any of you even know the reason I left in the first place? Do any of you even care? No. You don't want to take responsibility for your actions. So, I will tell you._

_My story begins on August 17th, 1979. A prophecy was made. Due to... security concerns, I will not reveal who made the prophecy. But that prophecy is the reason I am your vaunted 'Chosen One'. I was born on July 31st, 1980. At fifteen months old, October 31st, 1981, You-Know-Who was vanquished. Very few people know why. The reason his Killing Curse was reflected was because of my mother, Lily Potter. Her sacrifice imbued me with the ultimate protection. What is not generally known is that my parents were in hiding, because they knew He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was after them. They had a Secret-Keeper, who helped them hide. Everyone 'knows' it was Sirius Black. It was not. It was Peter Pettigrew. He betrayed the Potters to You-Know-Who._

_Fast-forward to 1994. The incompetent Minister Fudge tried to kill the recently-escaped Sirius Black, who was chasing Peter Pettigrew, who was hiding at Hogwarts in his Animagus form, a dirty-brown rat._

_Sirius Black was on the run for another two years, before he was killed in battle against the Death Eaters in the fight at the Department of Mysteries in June 1996._

_Now, you're all wondering what this has to do with my leaving the Wizarding world, aren't you? Here's the nub of the matter. Myself and five other students were involved in that battle. With the exception of myself, all of them were injured. When they left the school's hospital wing, they all told me that it was my fault that they had been injured, even though I had told them not to accompany me._

_They turned on me. They told me that it was my fault that my godfather, Sirius Orion Black, had been killed. They told me that they wanted nothing more to do with me._

_Why should I fight for the Wizarding World if my closest friends will turn on me? I don't see the point. For the last nine months, I have been living abroad. My 'friends' came after me, and told me I had to return, because it was my responsibility to kill Voldemort. They told me I was a coward for leaving. They then proceeded to try and force my return._

_Enter Headmaster Dumbledore, and the Order of the Phoenix. They tried to bring me back by force. I refused. So, he's the summary, folks: Because of the actions of these individuals, I will most definitely not be returning. I've given chances for redemption, and they have been thrown into my face._

_For more information about this, please see the following people: Ronald Bilius Weasley, Ginevra Molly Weasley, Hermione Jane Granger, Neville Franklin Longbottom, Luna Anne Lovegood, Remus John Lupin, and Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. The blame for the destruction of the Wizarding World can be laid solely at their feet._

_Goodbye._

_Harry Potter._

_The-Boy-Who's-Left-For-Good_

Dumbledore threw the newspaper down in disgust. Harry had let information slip that he rather had not been revealed, and he was disappointed in the young man. But, he could certainly understand his point.

But the actions of the other six named people... that was something he could certainly do something about. And he was going to begin right now.

* * *

The 'Ministry Five', as they had become known, were sitting in the Great Hall, each one engrossed in the newspaper. As they finished, they looked up at each other with horror.

Except Ron, who was busy reading the Quidditch scores. He glanced up to see Ginny's face. "What?" He asked.

"Didn't you read the bloody paper?" Ginny snapped.

"Yeah. Cannons lost again last night." Ron replied wistfully.

Neville looked at him. "What about the letter from Harry?"

"We've received a letter from Harry?" Ron asked, looking interested. Ginny huffed, picked up her newspaper, and shoved it under Ron's nose.

"That one, you prat!"

Ron started reading it, becoming aware of the chatter in the Great Hall dying down, as the rest of the students finished reading. When he finished, he looked up. "Oh, shit..."

Malfoy stood from the Slytherin table, and sauntered over. "Well, Weasel, Mudblood, Squib and Weaslette. You've really done a good job. The Dark Lord will be very pleased with your work." He grinned. "Thanks."

Malfoy didn't get a response as Dumbledore stalked into the Great Hall, and stopped when he saw them. His face showed a great and terrible anger. "Miss Granger, Miss Weasley, Mr. Weasley, Mr. Longbottom and Miss Lovegood. Report to my office, immediately." Dumbledore turned on his heel, and stalked away.

* * *

At a small flat in London, Remus Lupin was just starting breakfast. He had been staying with Tonks ever since Grimmauld Place had been sealed up. He was sitting across from Tonks, about to tuck into a healthy full English breakfast, when Tonks spat tea all over him.

He looked up, with a raised eyebrow. "Something interesting in the paper?" He asked dryly, picking up a piece of kitchen roll to wipe his face. Tonks angrily threw the paper at him.

"Page 2." She said briskly.

Lupin shook his head at her antics, and started reading. By the end of the article, he was white as a sheet. Even the Hogwarts ghosts had more colour.

"He blamed me..." Remus said shakily. "He blames me for the destruction of Wizarding Britain..."

"Are you telling me it's not your fault?" She asked. "Didn't you tell him you'd rather he died and Sirius lived? Didn't you punch him, and tell him you never wanted to see him again?"

"Yes..." Remus replied. "But... he wouldn't just leave..."

"It's bloody obvious he would, Lupin!" She snapped. Remus was shocked at her calling him by his surname. In all the time she'd known him, she'd always called him 'Remus'. "You've got some thinking to do, Lupin. You cost us a chance already."

"What? When?" He snapped.

"The charmed parchments. There was only three. I'm guessing that the second has been destroyed. That's why he wrote to the _Prophet_. You've fucked up, Lupin. You're gonna have to figure out how to fix this." She glared at him. "Do not return to my home until you have fixed this." She stood, and turned her back to him.

Remus nodded, and left to pack his belongings.

* * *

Dumbledore sat behind his desk, staring at the five students in front of him. A long time ago, he'd learned the benefit of leaving nervous people alone. It made them speak first. It worked.

"Is there something we can do for you, Headmaster?" Luna asked in her usual sing-song voice.

Dumbledore nodded slowly. "I left you with a simple task. Maintain a line of communication with Mr. Potter, and see if you could persuade him to return. Imagine my disappointment when I read this morning's _Daily Prophet_. Would you care to explain?"

Hermione shook her head. "Honestly, sir, I'd rather not." She sensed Dumbledore was about to speak, and carried on. "Unfortunately, it's a fair question." She took a deep breath. "During our last... conversation, I pointed out that Harry could both see and hear what we were doing. I asked how." She looked up. "He has surveillance devices hidden in the school, sir."

Dumbledore nodded, not really surprised by this revelation.

"He was... well, he was flirting quite a bit. Unfortunately, one of us became... annoyed... at this behaviour. The communication parchment burst into flame."

"So... one of you could not hold your temper." Dumbledore said coolly. "And because of that, we have caused Mr. Potter to decide to permanently leave the Wizarding World. And he blames us for it." Dumbledore's voice dropped to a whisper. "And I can't blame him."

Ginny raised her hand shyly. "It's my fault, sir. It was me that became annoyed at the conversation."

"And Neville, too." Hermione said, feeling no shame in ratting out her year-mate. "And Ron annoyed him in person when we were in Hong Kong."

Dumbledore looked sharply at the two young men. They both flinched, and looked away. "So, what do we do now, eh? If Harry goes under a self-secreted _Fidelus_ charm, we will never be able to find him." He leaned back in his chair. "I want to know what you suggest."

Ron was the first to speak, as usual. "Leave the country." He said. "There's no reason to stay now."

Hermione reached up and swatted the back of his head. "That's not a helpful suggestion." She looked at the Headmaster. "There's no way to go to him." She said, thinking quickly. "So, we must find a way to make him come to us."

Dumbledore nodded. "That will not be easy."

"I know." Hermione said. "Normally, I would suggest that his friends would be the quickest way of getting information to him, but we managed to bollocks that up royally."

"The press." Luna said dreamily. "He's obviously still reading the Wizarding newspapers. If we placed a discrete advert in the _Prophet_, he would read it."

Hermione nodded. "He would read it. The only problem we face is what to say. What would make him want to come back?"

"Why don't we just post some obituaries?" Ron said. "Say we've all died. That way, he'd see we were all dead, and come back and save everyone else."

Neville nodded thoughtfully. "That's not a bad idea."

Hermione laughed at the sheer stupidity on display in front of her. "You're right, Neville. That's not a bad idea. That's a bloody terrible idea!" She snapped. "At this point, we've well and truly driven him away. Saying that we've all died would not motivate him to come back. He'd probably just shrug, and have breakfast."

Luna snapped her fingers. "I've got it!"

* * *

In his new home, Harry opened the _Daily Prophet_, and calmly read.

_Hmm... more attacks on Muggle targets... Cannons lost again, no surprise there... Personal ads..._ Harry spat out his tea as he read the advert his ex-friends had obviously placed in the paper.

_Happy Harem needs sexy green-eyed pouter to 'fill' our needs on a daily basis. Harem has love vouchers that they are looking to 'redeem'. Little Dragons of Bad Faith need not apply._

Harry sniggered, and looked up at Hedwig, who was preening herself on her perch. "You know, Hed, I do believe they're learning. Hermione must have something to do with this." He read the advert again. "And definitely Luna. Little minx."

Hedwig hooted mournfully.

"I know. I'll send them a response."

* * *

Dumbledore's breakfast was not sitting at all well. He read the advert in the newspaper, still not believing that he had anything to do with such a silly scheme. Several students had read the advert and were openly giggling.

The screech of morning post filled the air as the owls arrived. To his utter surprise, a very familiar snowy white landed in front of him, extending a leg. He quickly removed the note, and read it.

_You have my attention. Look for response in tomorrow's paper._

_Green-Eyed Pouter._

_P.S. Give Hedwig some bacon._

Dumbledore absently reached for the platter of bacon, and placed it in front of the owl. Her eyes opened widely in shock, and started to gobble the tasty meat.

Dumbledore looked up to see the rest of the Ministry group looking at him in shock, along with several other students who recognised Harry's owl.

Hermione stood, and walked as quickly as possible to the Head Table. She mounted the stage and petted Hedwig, who preened under the attention, while still wolfing down the bacon.

Dumbledore passed her the note. "Yes!" She squealed, rushing away to show the note to the others. They each let out a squeal of happiness, with the exception of Neville and Ron, who shrugged and carried on eating breakfast.

* * *

The following morning came far too slowly. Luna had joined the other Gryffindors at their table, and was eagerly awaiting the arrival of the _Daily_ _Prophet_. With the customary screech, the owls entered the Great Hall. A copy of the Prophet landed in front of each of the young ladies, the men not bothered in reading Harry's reply.

_Clay worker interested in adopting harem. Reply can be found in the 1976 moon-wolf's sanctuary._

Hermione clicked instantly. "That's a clever response." She said admiringly. She looked up at Ginny, to see an expression of confusion.

"I don't get it." She mumbled.

Hermione looked at Luna, who shook her head. Hermione passed the paper to Neville, and pointed out the advert. Neville read it, and looked up. "What's this got to do with us?"

She shook her head, and passed the paper to Ron. He read it, and shrugged, before jamming another forkful of food into his mouth.

Dumbledore came down to see them. "I see we have our response, Miss Granger. Are you able to understand what it means?"

Hermione nodded. "I do, sir. I was wondering if anyone else gets it?"

Ron shook his head. "I thought we were expecting a response from Harry." He said around a mouthful of fried tomatoes. Hermione shuddered.

"Ron, what does a clay worker make?" She asked slowly.

"Things out of clay?" Ron replied.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "A clay worker makes pots, Ron. Another name for a clay worker would be a 'potter'. This is his way of saying that it's from him."

Dumbledore nodded. "It's clever indeed, Miss Granger. However, I do not know what at 1976 moon-wolf's sanctuary is."

Luna thought for a moment. "How old is Remus Lupin?" She asked.

"What's that got to do with Harry?" Ginny asked, still trying to work out the cryptic response.

"Because in 1976, Remus Lupin was indeed a student here at Hogwarts." Dumbledore replied. "During his monthly transformations, he used to go to the Shrieking Shack."

"Which means our response is inside the Shrieking Shack." Hermione concluded.

"Well, I'm not going back there." Ron said firmly. "I almost died last time." Neville nodded fearfully.

"Fine. I'll go." Hermione said, looking over at Luna and Ginny. They both nodded. Hermione looked up at Dumbledore. "Sir, can we-"

"Of course." Dumbledore said. "You're excused from morning lessons. Please go quickly, Miss Granger."

* * *

The three students entered the Shrieking Shack, which was covered in dust and cobwebs. There were no signs of life, and no indication that anyone had been in the shack in the last 20 years.

"Great. We walk all the way down here, and nothing. And he says we're the ones who need to redeem ourselves? Bloody marvellous."

"Ginny, not now." Hermione kept looking round. "What worries me is explaining this to Professor Dumbledore." She walked towards the last room on the ground floor, and screamed as something black suddenly appeared in the doorway.

Harry, having wedged his ankles above the door jamb, swung downwards, shooting a massive dose of ether in the faces of the three girls, watching them all slump down to the ground, out cold.

"Well, that was easy." Working quickly, he placed Luna and Ginny in each of the bedrooms, handcuffing them to the old bedsteads, which he'd spent over an hour cleaning. Finally, he picked Hermione up, and placed her in a dining room chair, handcuffing her wrists to the arms. Reaching in to his pocket, he pulled out a small bottle of smelling salts, and waved it under her nose.

"Whassat?" Hermione jerked upright, her eyes slamming open as the ammonia didn't so much knock on her nasal 'door' as kick it down and announce 'this is a raid!'

"Hello, gorgeous." Harry pulled up another chair, this one without arms, turned it and straddled it, crossing his arms over the back of the chair and resting his chin on his hands. "You know, it's lovely to see you again, now you haven't got a wand pointed at me." She jerked her hands suddenly, but found that she was bound securely. "Ah, now, play nice. I left the fur on, that's got to show I'm playing nice too." She looked down to see that the cuffs on her wrist did, indeed, have a lovely pink faux-fur trim. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to go in to a sex shop in Covent Garden and asking for four pairs of cuffs? I swear, the guy kept trying to shake my hand."

"Where're Ginny and Luna?"

"Oh, they're upstairs. I made sure they're both going to be out for a while yet. Ginny, because the same passions that run her blood run hot with desire can make mine run cold with fear. And Luna? That girl scares me." He sketched a bow. "Besides, you're in charge of the group. I'd guess that the wording of the advert was you, but the idea? That's pure Luna."

He looked at her appraisingly. "I must say, the month's have been good to you. You've always been the most mature of the group. It's nice to see you've got the body to match."

"You've been hitting the gym yourself, it seems?"

"Well, you know, no Potions class or Transfiguration essays. Had to find something to do to amuse myself. By the way, speaking of amusement, I have to say, it was fun watching you drop Ron and Neville in the shite in Dumbledore's office. Fair play to Gin, she held her hand up and admitted she made a fuck up. Ron, on the other hand? He really doesn't get it, does he? I don't think Neville does, either, to be honest."

Hermione stared at him intently, causing Harry to blush for a moment. "Do I have something on my face?" He asked.

"Not yet." Hermione mumbled under her breath.

"Was there something you wanted from me, Miss Granger?" Harry asked, leaning close enough for Hermione to feel his breath on her face. "You did seem... eager to fine me."

Hermione nodded, shaking her head to clear the cobwebs. "Yes. I wanted you to come back."

Harry shook his head. "You've already mentioned that to me. You want me to fill my destiny by killing Voldemort. I've already made my feelings regarding that quite clear."

Hermione nodded. "Quite clear." She said. "But, that isn't the only reason I want you to come back."

Harry's eyebrows arched up. "Oh." He leaned closer, close enough that Hermione could actually feel him on her skin. His voice dropped to a husky whisper. "What other reasons could you possibly have?"

Hermione's tongue reached out to wet her suddenly dry lips. The two were so close that she ended up licking his lips. Harry pulled back slightly, running his tongue over the residue she had left. "Hmm... That could be an answer. You were telling Neville how I wasn't talking to you as a friend, but wanted to get into your pants."

Hermione nodded, then leaned forward in the chair slightly. "Yes." She took a deep breath. "And I said it was working."

Harry shot her his famous 'smouldering' look, guaranteed to generate blushing cheeks, hardened nipples and dampened panties in witches everywhere. As expected, it did the trick with Hermione. "How well was it working?"

Hermione tried to control her blush, failing miserably. "Well enough that the three of us brewed some Prophylaxis potion two days ago. We're all on it."

Harry grinned rakishly. "Really? Interesting..." He leaned closer, causing Hermione to lean forward slightly. "So... why are you all on it?" He asked softly.

"Because..." Hermione growled softly to herself. He was gonna make her say, the bastard! "Because all three of us would quite happily ride you like a hippogriff, Harry." She said softly. "Ginny's wanted to nail the BWL since she was four years old. I've wanted you since October '91. And Luna... well, Luna's just Luna."

"Indeed?" Harry leaned forward and kissed her, raising one hand to the back of her head, and pulling her closer.

Hermione squeaked for a moment, then relaxed into the kiss, giving as good as she got. She squeaked again when she felt a hand start to stroke her upper thigh, then reach down, and start to stroke up her bare leg.

She relaxed, then moaned when the hand went away, and Harry leaned back, breaking the kiss. She opened her eyes, to see him smiling at her. "Well, you're off to a good start, Hermione."

She pouted at him. "Please... don't stop." She whispered.

Harry reached into his shirt pocket, and pulled out another communication parchment. "I've made one more. This is going to be the last one." He leaned forward, and kissed her again. She made a 'squee' noise when Harry's hand started to gently stroke her dampened panties, making the pleasure she was feeling rise up. He leaned back, keeping his stroking motion going.

"I could be evil, and walk away now..." He said.

Hermione shook her head vigorously, letting the pleasure build. "No..." She gasped out.

"Oh... you want me to continue?" He asked, his voice gently mocking.

"Please!" Hermione gasped out the word, her mind going. Harry leaned forward, and grabbed the back of her head with his free hand, pulling her forward, crushing her lips in another searing kiss. This proved to be all the stimulation she needed as she orgasmed hard, moaning into his mouth as her body bucked, still restrained by the handcuffs.

When she came back to herself, Harry was gently stroking her. He pulled back his head. "That's all you get for now." He said. He gently pulled his hand out from under her skirt, kissing his fingers. "I need words with the other two."

Harry pulled out the spray canister of ether, and waved it in front of her face. "You know... things are going well for you, Hermione... but the prospect of just coming back for a shag isn't worth it. You hurt me. Your blind refusal to admit your own failings were part of the problem. Neville's stupidity, not to mention Ron's, isn't helping matters."

He leaned back in his chair. "Apart from the prospect of great sex, what's in this for me? Why should I bother coming back here, slandered and ridiculed by the people who were supposed to be my friends, fight for them... possibly _die_ for them?"

"Harry..."

"For five years, you stood by my side, believing in me when no-one else did. Then you turned your back on me, happy to be away. Now, you seem to think I should just drop everything and come scurrying back to you, just 'cause you say so."

"Harry..." Hermione had tears in her eyes. "We were wrong... we were afraid... can you blame us?"

He shook his head slowly. "Can I blame you for being afraid? No. But, I can blame you for being utterly bloody stupid. It seems to me that the only reason you're even here is that you want me to fight Voldemort."

"That's not the only reason, Harry." Hermione replied softly. "I... I miss you."

"Really?" His eyebrow shot up. "That explains why one of the first things you did when you saw me in Hong Kong was to slap me, rather hard."

"I... I was upset." She slumped in her chair. "Please, Harry, come back. Not for the Order, or the Wizarding world... but for us."

Harry smirked evilly. "It seems to me that the only reason you're here is because Dumbledore sent you down, to persuade me to come back. You're working on his orders."

"No!" Hermione exclaimed. "_I _want you back. For me. To be with me. To be with _us_."

_This is odd... she never really showed this kind of interest in me before. Ah, well... _"Like I said, Hermione... you turned on me. Coming back just for sex isn't enough." He stood up, brandishing the can. "Keep working on it, though. I'm sure you could come up with something."

Hermione's last memory of that meeting was Harry's grinning face.

* * *

Harry stood up, carefully readjusting himself. _Damn, she's cute when she's cumming._ He thought to himself. He headed for the other room, where Luna was laid out on the bed, handcuffed firmly to the headboard. He pulled out the smelling salts, bringing Luna back to consciousness.

"Hey, there, beautiful." He said, gracing her with the smouldering look. As always, it worked. Luna looked up at him.

"Hi, Harry." She said huskily. "So... you've got me tied up. Didn't picture you as the dominating sort."

"There's many things people don't know about me, Luna." Harry said nonchalantly. "Since I've never had a girlfriend at Hogwarts, people don't know how I swing."

Luna grinned. "Am I gonna find out?"

"Do you want to?" Harry asked, reaching out and stoking her thigh. Luna shuddered lightly.

"Oh, Goddess, yes!" She exclaimed.

"Well, I've just been and done the same thing to Hermione." Harry said, reaching underneath her skirt, to start stroking the naked thigh. "You should note that your advert did request a green-eyed pouter for a harem." _God bless them... you'd think they were bloody serious about it._

Luna shrugged, her eyes going slightly glazed as she focussed on Harry's hand. "Doesn't bother me if I have to share you." She said softly.

"What about if I wanted to share you with the others?" Harry asked softly. "After all, why should I be the focus of the harem?" _I can't wait for her response... three perfectly straight girls..._

Luna nodded slowly. "As long as I get equal time with you..." She trailed off as Harry's hand encountered the damp material of her knickers. "As long as you keep doing that," she muttered, "I'll do whatever you want."

Harry grinned, looking slightly confused. _Another straight girl who'll fuck other girls just to be with me. This is odd... still, never mind that now._ He leaned over, gently licking her lips. Her head came up, desperate to stop the teasing, and have her first proper kiss. Harry obliged, kissing her deeply, making her moan into his mouth. She pulled back slightly, needing to breathe.

"Goddess, yes!" She moaned. She opened her eyes, and stared at him. "You're... very good at this, Harry." She whispered.

"I've had lots of inspiration, Luna, dear." Harry replied, feeling her getting close. "I could be evil and stop here..." He suggested.

"Stop and I will never forgive you." Luna panted.

"And here was me thinking you were looking for _my_ forgiveness." Harry said.

"Sorry! Just... just don't stop now." Luna whispered. She was on the edge, and Harry knew it. He slowed down, keeping her on the edge, but not letting her achieve release.

"You're a naughty girl, Luna." Harry breathed into her ear.

She nodded, slightly desperate. "Please, Harry!" She begged. Harry nodded, and kissed her again, speeding up his ministrations, and letting her achieve the release she now desperately needed. She came hard, pulling against the handcuffs, her pelvis grinding against Harry's palm.

When she stopped trembling, Harry took his hand away, again kissing his fingers. He stared into her eyes. "I know you're on the potion. By coming here with Hermione and Ginny, you've earned a second chance at communication. Hermione has a new parchment. I managed to make one more. This will be the last one. You're truly on your last chance. I suggest you don't blow it."

Luna gave him her own smouldering look, which was only slightly ruined by her gasping for breath. "I could think of something I could blow, Harry."

"So could I." Harry grinned, and kissed her again. "You're well on the way for a shag, Luna. As to making me come back... talk to Hermione." He raised the can of ether.

* * *

Again, Harry had to adjust his pants. _Damn... if I keep doing this, I'm gonna end up needing to change my shorts while I'm playing with Ginny._ He shrugged. _Ah, she's worth it._

He entered the last room, where Ginny was sleeping, still splayed into position. Harry threw himself onto the bed, waving the smelling salts under her nose. She roared back to life, her face blotchy with her anger.

"What the hell are you doing, Potter?" She snapped.

"Ah, ah!" He replied briskly. "You're here to beg for _my_ forgiveness, remember?" He laid himself down next to her, immediately putting her on the defensive. "Which means that, right now, you're at my mercy."

"Uh... why am I tied up?" She asked, her demeanour racing from 'confident' to 'timid'.

"To save myself getting hit in the bollocks, stunned or otherwise hexed. Don't worry." He said, placing his hand on her stomach. Immediately, her body betrayed her, her nipples poking up, and showing her interest. She blushed, and looked away.

"Hmm... Ginny?" Harry looked at the back of her head. He pressed down on her stomach. "Look at me, Ginny."

She slowly turned back, her face a fiery red. "Are you embarrassed?" He asked softly. She nodded. Harry looked down at his crotch. "Well, I'm as aroused as you are."

She looked down, eyes widening slightly at the impressive size of the bulge.

"One thing I will say before we continue with this discussion; I will do nothing that you do not want me to do, okay?"

She nodded timidly.

"Excellent." His hand lowered to her thigh. "Of course, I will do what you _want_ me to do. This is what I've said to the others." He started to stroke her thigh. Ginny let out a 'meep' of pleasure, before allowing her eyes to drift closed. "I thought you weren't interested in me, Ginny, my dear."

Ginny's eyes shot open. "You know I've fancied you since I was four years old, Potter." She snapped. Harry's hand dipped under her skirt, causing her eyes to widen comically. Harry once more released the smouldering look, causing Ginny's arousal to become complete.

"Would you like me to continue higher, Gin?" He asked huskily. Without pause, Ginny nodded frantically. "I've done this to Luna and Hermione as well. Do you have a problem with that?"

She shook her head, arching her back as Harry's gentle hand rubbed over the damp patch in her underwear. "Just... don't stop, please, Harry." She begged.

"Don't beg, Gin. It's making my hard-on even harder... you wouldn't want me to be hurt, would you?" Harry whispered in her ear. He leaned up, and kissed her. While the kisses with Hermione and Luna had started on gentle, tentative, this kiss was full of fiery passion. Harry gave as good as he got, leaving them both breathless.

Ginny's back arched again as she came, squealing into his mouth. Harry was about to pull his hand away, when Ginny shook her head vigorously. "No..." She moaned.

Harry grinned as he realised she was well and truly 'up-for-it'. "Sorry, Gin. One each." He gestured into the main room. "Hermione has a new parchment. I'll be generous, and let you have a second inning. The fact that you're rather fuckable works in your favour, so we can carry on our... conversations. Talk to her to find out what's next." He leaned down, and kissed her again, still full of fire.

He sprayed her again with the ether, a light dose, and undid the handcuffs. When she awoke, she'd be able to unlock the others. Harry stood, and left the room, then headed out of the main door, before apparating away.

* * *

Ginny woke up, her hands still above her head. She sat up, rubbing her wrists. She stood, and left the room. She saw Luna starting to rouse herself, and undid the handcuffs, before heading into the main room, and Hermione sat in the chair, still knocked out.

Luna ambled in, and saw Ginny about to unlock Hermione's cuffs. "Not yet." She said softly, interrupting Ginny.

"Why?" Ginny asked.

Luna didn't answer, just headed over, and sat down in Hermione's lap. The pressure was enough to wake Hermione, who looked up to see the blonde sat in her lap.

"Uh... Luna? What are you doing?" Hermione asked softly.

Luna again said nothing, just reached for Hermione's chin, and lifted her head up. She leaned in close, and placed a feather-light kiss on Hermione's lips. Hermione's eyes widened for a moment, before _what the hell_ flashed across her mind. She started to kiss back, letting her eyes close.

Ginny saw her two best friends kissing, and for a moment, was disgusted. Then curious. Then aroused. Then frustrated that she wasn't the one being kissed.

She stood behind Luna, then tapped her on the shoulder. When Luna looked up, she took a deep breath, then leaned down, and kissed her softly, waiting to see if Luna would kiss back. Luna kept one arm wrapped around Hermione's neck, and put the other around Ginny's neck, deepening the kiss like a professional. Considering these was only her second and third kisses, respectively, she was enjoying them quite a lot.

Ginny kissed her passionately, enjoying this almost as much as the kiss with Harry. After a moment, she pulled back, looking at the look of jealousy in Hermione's eyes. She leaned over Luna, and kissed Hermione, who gladly reciprocated, leaving all three breathless.

Luna smiled to herself as something small and hard pressed against the side of her face. She realised it was one of Ginny's nipples, and had to actively push down the urge to start nibbling.

Ginny pulled back, taking a deep breath. For a moment, fear reigned over her features. "Why are we doing this?" She asked softly.

Hermione looked hurt. "Didn't you want to?" She asked softly.

Ginny nodded. "Hell, yes. I was just wondering... why the hell did I suddenly want to kiss you both? I've never... I mean..."

Luna started to reach for Hermione's handcuffs, and undid them. "You've never thought about kissing another girl before." She stated calmly. Ginny nodded, followed closely by Hermione. "Neither have I."

"So... why did we suddenly feel the need to do it now?" Ginny asked.

"Harry." Luna replied simply.

"Is it something he did?" Hermione asked. "Did he... change us, somehow?"

"Not me." Luna replied dreamily. "I just realised when he was kissing me... it felt very nice. Then, I wanted to kiss you. And Ginny, it seems, wanted to kiss me, then you."

"And I wanted to kiss the both of you." Hermione concluded. "That doesn't answer the original question, though. Why did we suddenly want to kiss each other?"

"I think it's because Harry wants his harem." Luna replied, causing both girls to snigger, before they realised Luna was serious.

"Seriously?" Hermione asked. "We suddenly felt the urge to become bisexual because we want to please Harry?"

Ginny shrugged. "It makes about as much sense as anything else regarding Harry."

Luna also shrugged. "That was my first kiss." She said softly. "I wanted to experience another."

Hermione leaned back in the chair, suddenly aware that Luna had not moved. "It was mine, too." She blushed prettily. "It was very nice."

"Did Harry make you both cum?" Luna suddenly asked. Both girls blushed, and nodded. Luna carried on. "Me, too. It was my first orgasm that I hadn't caused myself." She looked around guiltily. "It felt better than anything I'd ever done to myself."

"Me, too." Ginny and Hermione replied in unison.

"So..." Hermione snickered to herself. "Harry's Harem seems to have its first three members." She looked at Luna, who nodded, then at Ginny, who shrugged and nodded. "We'll have to let him know."

"I'm assuming he already does." Ginny said. "He's probably planted more of those creepy little eyeballs around."

Hermione's mind started racing. "I've just had a thought. What's the Wizarding world's view on bisexuality?"

Luna shook her head sadly. "It's frowned upon, strongly. From what Daddy's told me, it's similar to the Victorian era in the Muggle world. Children and Heirs are still thought of as a priority for both witches and wizards."

"So... if this got out, it'd be trouble for us?" Hermione asked.

"No." Ginny said. "It'd be enough to get me cast out of my family, same for Luna, and all three of us to be shunned publicly. The last time there was a confirmed girl/girl relationship, both were exiled from the Wizarding world, and had to live as Muggles."

"That's barbaric!" Hermione said firmly. "Why?"

Luna answered. "They were both pureblood witches. As far as 'society' was concerned, they should have married other purebloods, and made lots of babies."

"It's official, then." Hermione said commandingly. "We keep this secret." She thought for a moment. "What about Harry having a Harem?"

"Oh, that's socially acceptable." Luna said. "It's not encouraged these days, but fine legally for Harry."

"It's so outdated." Ginny moaned. "It used to be considered a sign of wealth to have multiple wives. Or concubines. It's not done so much, anymore, 'cause very few people want to go through all the legal rubbish. Usually, it's just mistresses."

Hermione shrugged. "So, Harry's Harem has its first three members." She repeated. "And we keep this secret."

"Are we going to do it again?" Luna asked, looking quite eager.

Hermione nodded. "I'm up for it."

"Me, as well." Ginny added quickly.

"Room of Requirement tonight?" Hermione asked.

"I'll be there." Luna said.

"Count me in." Ginny added.

* * *

Harry took off the charmed glasses, leaning back and pondering. _This is weird... I'd love to think it was my amazing good lucks and utter sexiness... but I doubt even that's enough to turn three girls into bisexual submissives. So why are they now wanting to be in my harem. Especially Luna and Ginny... they know that girl/girl relationships are heavily frowned upon, yet they're willing to do so, just for me._

_This bears some investigation. Better contact Griphook._

* * *

"You know, it's times like these I wish we still had the map." Ginny walked behind Hermione, keeping an eye out for anyone watching them, and an eye on Hermione's bum, which was suddenly fascinating to watch, sheathed in tight denim and calling out to her like a Siren.

"I'm sure we'll be okay. Luna should be there."

They arrived at the seventh floor, to find Luna standing outside the door to the Room of Requirements. She looked worried.

"Luna? What's wrong?"

"When I got here, the doors were already in place."

"So?"

"It means someone is using the room already."

"Are the doors locked?" Hermione tried the handle, which turned underneath her hand. "Obviously not." She opened the door to find herself in a darkened room, small and intimate, with a bed, similar to the ones found in the dorms, but considerably bigger, with the curtains hiding the occupants from view. Stepping in, Ginny and Luna behind her, the first thing that struck her was the smell of sex, sweat and pheromones thickening the air. She was looking at the bed, about to leave, when she heard a voice girl's voice murmur.

"Oh, Padma."

A soft and throaty voice replied. "Oh, Susan."

"Oh, shit!" Hermione clapped her hand over her mouth as she realised that she'd said that out loud. The curtains on the bed suddenly flew open to reveal Susan Bones and Padma Patil, both naked, both with identical looks of shock on their faces.

"Shut the door!"

Luna slammed the door shut, before looking at her fellow Ravenclaw entwined with a Hufflepuff.

The door to the room opened and Parvati Patil walked in, a silver platter in one hand. As she pushed the door shut behind her, she started to shuck her robes, proving that the only thing under Parvati's robes was Parvati. "I got us strawberries and cream and... why are you standing like that?"

Padma just gestured behind Parvati, who spun around, saw Hermione, Ginny and Luna, and dropped the tray she was carrying. She dropped to her knees in front of Hermione, and held her hands together, as if praying.

"Please, please, don't say anything!" The Indian girl was panicking, fear plastered on her face. "I know what it looks like, and we know it's wrong, and-"

Hermione dropped to her own knees, and looked Parvati straight in the eye. "Hush, Parvati, hush... take a deep breath... that's right." She soothed the terrified Gryffindor. "Now... calm down, and tell us what's wrong."

Parvati looked at Hermione like she was mad. "Are you tripping, Hermione? Three girls in a bedroom, and you need to ask what's wrong?"

Hermione stood up, pulling Parvati to her feet. She closed her eyes for a moment, requesting that the room become a good place to talk, instead of... whatever the Patils and Bones were doing. Susan squeaked as the bed she was sitting on turned into a plush sofa.

"Let's sit down and talk." Hermione said diplomatically. "There's quite a few things to get out in the open tonight, I feel."

Quickly sitting down, Parvati shooting nervous glances at Padma, they waited for Hermione to begin.

"Strawberry?" Parvati looked behind her to see Luna munching on a strawberry, holding the platter out to her. Taking one of the succulent fruits, she started to eat it, wondering what had just happened.

Hermione leaned back in her chair, steepling her fingers. "I'm not going to ask what you three were doing, mainly because the... scent of the room answers that question quite nicely."

The occupants of the room glanced at each other nervously... except Luna, who was happily working on the platter of strawberries.

"But, I would like to ask when this started. I mean... I never knew that you liked girls, Par."

Parvati's hand instinctively snaked out to her sister's, squeezing tightly for reassurance. "I... I didn't know myself. I mean... I was talking with Pad' one day, and Susan walked past us..."

Padma cleared her throat. "And we both started following her. Don't know why. We just did. We turned the corner, and Sue was there waiting for us, looking as breathless as we were."

A chime sounded from Hermione's pocket, and she pulled the parchment out. "You there, Harry?"

_Exactly where else would I be?_

"Witty, Harry." Hermione replied dryly. "Anyway... you chimed?"

_I did. I was kinda... listening in. Can you put this on the table so everyone can read it?_

Hermione did so, letting all six young women crowd around it.

_Padma, Parvati... you said you two were talking one day when Susan just walked past. If you don't mind my asking... what were you two talking about?_

"Er... I don't really remember." Parvati replied, glancing over at Padma, who shook her head.

"No, nor me. It probably wasn't important."

_No, probably not. And then you just decided to seek out Susan and snog, yeah?_

"Don't say it like that, Harry." Hermione scolded lightly. "You'd be surprised how quickly these sorts of things can just happen."

_I mean no offence to anyone. I was just curious, is all. And I'm gonna leave the whole incestuous thing out of it._

"Hey!" Padma snapped. "I love my sister, but I don't _love_ my sister! Both of us work on Susan, or one of us works on her while she works on one of us. It's bad enough we all face exile is this ever gets found out..."

_Something else that pisses me off about the bloody Wizarding world, but that's a conversation for another time. Getting back on track; you three decided to come up to the Room of Requirement for a little TLC, yeah?_

"Yes." Susan, Padma and Parvati replied in unison.

_Which, if I understand correctly, is the same reason that Hermione, Luna and Ginny went up to the Room of Requirement. Don't any of you find it bloody curious that you've suddenly become rather horny girl-lovers, even when you've never displayed those emotions before?_

Hermione shrugged. "No. Sometimes, these things just happen. Besides, I'm not a 'girl-lover', Harry. I'm bisexual. I want a man, too."

"Me, too." Ginny said.

"Me, three." Luna added.

Susan raised her hand. "Er... if you're offering, Harry, I wouldn't mind."

"Seconded." Padma and Parvati spoke in unison.

_So, let me see if I understand this, okay? All of a sudden, you want to shag each other, and me, even though I don't think any of you has ever had an ounce of interest in me. My 'Harem' has just jumped from three to six members, and none of you think this is weird?_

"You have a harem, Harry?" Susan asked, her eyes darkening with lust. "Where do we sign up?"

_I give up._

"Don't give up, Harry." Hermione said supportively. "You know that we all care for you.

_Yes... something I'll be looking into, rather soon._

"You'll be looking into us?" Luna asked breathily. "Ooh, I can't wait. Do you think the room can create birthing stirrups?"

_Well, I'm not exactly local at the moment, so you may have to. I'm curious, though. What are you six planning to do now?_

Luna eyed Hermione hungrily. "I could think of several things..."

Hermione turned to face Luna, a cheeky smile on her face. "Can you?"

_Hormone Alert! Hormone Alert! In a way, I'm glad I'm not there. I'd be choking on all the pheromones in the air._

"Be nice, Harry..." Ginny snapped. "We're doing this for you!"

_I know. Something else I'll be looking into._

"There is one thing, Harry." Padma said, leaning closer to the parchment. "This has to be kept secret. If _anyone_ finds out about this, we'll all be exiled from the magical world, or in the case of me or Par, we could even be executed."

_I'm perfectly well aware of how the purebloods regard same-sex relationships, Padma. I had that bloody talk in third year where they tell us all about the 'unnaturalness' that can sometimes happen._

"Then you won't tell anyone?"

_No, I won't tell anyone. I would suggest that you all behave discretely. I've got some checking to do from my end. And I must say, believe it or not, I'm glad I don't have any eyes in the RoR. I'm not sure I could handle watching this._

"You love it, really." Hermione chuckled. "Are you telling us you don't want to watch us?"

_I'm not saying that. But, I want to look into a few things first. By the way, who's Alpha?_

"Hermione." Padma, Parvati, Susan, Luna and Ginny replied in unison, all looking at the bushy-haired girl with adoration.

_I thought so. All of you, be careful, and don't do anything I wouldn't do._

The writing on the paper faded away, to be stuffed back into Hermione's pocket.

"So, what do we do about this?"

Luna had an odd smile on her face. "There are enough strawberries here for six." She lifted the lid on a small bowl, and peered inside. "It appears, though, that we might have to share the cream."


	5. Adjustments and Confusion

**Author's Note:** All New Content. Chapter Four has been heavily edited, and now makes a lot more sense. (I hope)

* * *

– **CHAPTER FIVE –**

_**Adjustments and Confusion**_

Harry sat back in his favourite armchair, sipping a Butterbeer. The recent conversation via parchment with the group of girls was... troubling, to say the least. _Why would six girls, some of whom barely know me, suddenly decide they want to become my love slaves? Even Hermione, one of the strongest women I know, is becoming more and more submissive. Jesus, she'll be calling me 'Master' next, demanding that I punish her. It's just... _weird_, and unnatural. I don't get it._

This was the crux of the matter for him. He didn't understand it at all. _I left the Wizarding world, quite happily, and they were more than glad to see me go. I expect they even threw parties in my 'honour'. Now, less than a year later, they want me back just so they can be my harem. I mean... I was just joking about that, for Christ's sake! I didn't expect them to take me seriously!_

_Why the hell do they want to be my harem? I always thought Hermione was into Ron... at least, that's what all the scuttlebutt around the tower said. I know Ron wanted to be in Hermione. I know Ginny liked me, but I always thought she'd be unwilling to share. From those lovely little notes she put on the parchment, she'd be happy to go down on all five other girls. I barely know Padma, Susan or Parvati, even though I've been in the same house as Parvati for five years._

_Then there's Tonks. She seemed... open to the idea, so did Hestia. These people don't even know me, yet they were willing to jump into bed with me. Why?_ He sighed to himself. _I need to talk to Hermione... the _old_ Hermione, the one who always stood by me. I just hope she's still inside there, somewhere._

He grabbed the parchment, tapping it with the special quill, so he could speak to it instead of write. "Hermione? I need to speak to you. Will you grab a quill and write your answers down? I don't want the others to hear about this."

After a few moments, the response came.

_What's up, Harry?_

"Are you busy at the moment?" There was a pause.

_I've got Luna's head in my lap, and the other four are engaging in some rather hot 69s. I tell you... Ginny really does put her all into it. She's making Parvati squeal delightfully. It's really arousing._

Harry sighed. _Bugger..._ "Is Hermione the Know-It-All available? Need to speak to her."

_I'm still a know-it-all, Harry... even with Luna doing unspeakably nice things to me. She has a marvellous tongue. I wish you were here to watch._

"Focus, Hermione, please."

_I'm am focussing. It's rather hard not to._

"No, focus on me. Not on Luna's tongue."

_Easier said that done, Harry. She's really good at this. I mean REALLY good. She can twist her tongue, and then flick it like you wouldn't believe._

Harry huffed to himself. "Hermione, please. This is important."

_Fine. Hang on._

There was a pause of almost a minute.

_I sent her to go and help Padma get Susan off. You should see her face, Harry. It's... delicious. Just imagine what she'll be like when you're working on her._

"Question for you, Hermione; if I ordered you, not asked you, but demanded of you that I was going to bugger you without lubrication 'til you bleed while you licked Padma's arse... what would you say?"

_Let's do it. I'm available right now. Give Padma a couple of minutes to finish making Sue cum, and she'll be right with us._

"Even though you know it's going to hurt, a lot? Even though I haven't _asked_ you, but demanded it of you? And licking another girl's arse, someone you barely know... and you want to?"

_It's YOU, Harry. I know that if you caused me pain, it wouldn't be that bad. And Padma's very attractive. I'm sure she'd enjoy me licking her, and I'll undoubtedly enjoy it as well._

"You're justifying disgraceful chauvinistic behaviour on my part."

_Like I said, Harry; it's YOU. How could I refuse?_

Harry nodded to himself. _And the truth comes out. How could she refuse _me_? This is wrong. I need to find out more about this._ "What about Ron, Hermione? I thought you were interested in him."

_WHAT?! Harry, that's disgusting! Ew... how could I be interested in Ron? I'm interested in YOU... and the other five girls here. Oh, I told Padma what you said, and she put her bottom right into the air. I think she wants to do it, too. When can you get here?_

"It could take a while, Hermione. I've, er... I've got some people I need to speak to."

_Who?_

"Tonks, for one. Hestia Jones for another."

_Why them, Harry? Why not us? We're here, and we're waiting for you. And if you could see what I can see, you can tell that we are sooo willing, too._

"I need to clarify something. Then there's an excellent chance I'll be coming to see Dumbledore."

_YOU'RE COMING TO HOGWARTS?! WHEN?!_

"Hermione, calm down."

_I've just told the other girls, and they're all very excited. How soon can you be here??_

Another set of handwriting replaced Hermione's.

_Harry, it's Ginny. You're coming here? Really? When? We're all VERY anxious to... see you. Can you bring some whipped cream with you? We've run out, and we were just discussing licking it off you. Anything else you want licking off, bring that, too. I personally recommend Honeydukes finest dark chocolate sauce. A little sticky, but we're all smooth down below, so we'll be fine._

Annoyed, Harry snarled a final phrase. "I'll let you know when I'm down. In the meantime, keep your noses clean. I'll be in touch."

Standing, Harry drained his Butterbeer, before grabbing the programmable Portkey the Goblins had so thoughtfully provided. _Right, Tonks first._ He disappeared in a trail of colour.

* * *

Locating Tonks was extremely easy. Since she was a half-and-half, like Harry, she was listed in the telephone book. Barely thirty minutes after leaving his tent, he was stood outside her door. He pressed on the buzzer, waiting for a response.

The door opened, revealing the Metamorph looking bleary-eyed, clad in a far-too-short dressing gown. "Hello... Harry!" She grabbed his arm, yanking him inside her flat, before slamming the door.

"Hi, Tonks. Catch you at a bad time?" Harry was being pleasant while mentally putting his shoulder back in its socket; it seemed she was pleased to see him.

She shook her head, yawning. "I'm working nights at the moment, so I was about to get up anyway. What can I do for you, Harry?"

He sat down, noting the disgusting state of the living room; porn and takeaway cartons. _It's like a student flat. God, is that underwear? Yeesh..._ "Er... I was wondering something, Tonks, and I don't quite know how to ask it."

She yawned again. "Harry, I'm far too tired to piss about with manners and tact. Just ask."

"Do you wanna shag me, Tonks?"

Without bothering to answer, Tonks undid her dressing down. "Sure. I can't think of anything I'd rather do right now." She stood up, moving towards him, her hips wiggling attractively from side to side.

Taking a gamble, Harry held up his hand. "Tonks, sit."

She sat. Instantly. Not bothering to move back to the couch, she sat down on the floor.

_Oh, bugger... she's just like all the rest._ "Tonks, answer me a question."

"Of course."

"Why do you want to shag me?"

She looked up at him, her eyes widening. "Don't you want me to, Harry?"

"Please answer my question, Nymphadora." _If she tries to kill me for using her hated first name, she's not too twisted._

"You know... I've never liked my name. But when you say it... it sounds so good." She smiled coyly at him. "And why shouldn't I want to, Harry? I mean, you're utterly gorgeous. The prospect of having you use me... Doing anything you want to me... Mmm... all your desires come to life..." Her hand started straying down her stomach as her eyes closed.

_Oh, bugger me with a broomstick, this is wrong!_ "That's... that's good to know, Nymphadora." He leaned back on the chair, almost slumping in desperation. "Do you, er... do you know where I can find Hestia Jones?"

She nodded, looking a bit sad. "Yeah. Hestia! Get your arse out of bed! Harry's here!"

Harry's eyebrow shot up. "She, er... you live together?"

Tonks looked at him oddly. "If by 'live together', you mean 'share a flat', then yeah, we do. Junior Aurors don't make a lot of money, and this place is really close to work, so it made sense." She looked up at one of the doors leading away from the living room. "Merlin's massive member, Hestia, get up!"

The door was flung open, revealing Hestia Jones in a pair of panties. And nothing else. "Bloody hell, Tonks, what?" Tonks just pointed to Harry, causing Hestia's face to light up in delight. "Ah, Harry! Great to see you! What can I do to you? Hell, I'll even double it and ask what I can do _for_ you!"

Sighing, Harry slumped even further into his chair. "You could put a top on, Hestia."

"Well, I could, yeah, course I could." She looked down at her perky, attractive breasts. "Why would I want to, though? Don't mind you seeing my titties. Can do more than look, I hope."

Harry nodded slowly. "Good to know. I was actually wanting to ask you a question, but you've already answered it." He stood up. "And I think I should be going."

"What?" The two young women said together. Tonks stepped forward. "You don't need to go, Harry. I'm sure the three of us could come up with an... enjoyable way to spend the day."

"Yeah." Hestia chimed up. "Look!" She casually pushed her panties down to her knees. "Like you said, I got rid of the Brazilian. Don't you think this looks tidy? We can do _anything_ you want!"

Harry's eyes instinctively dropped down. "Gah! Pull 'em up, Hestia!" He quickly turned to Tonks. "Do you have anti-Portkey wards?"

"No." She sighed wistfully. "Too bloody expensive. Just anti-apparition."

"Oh. Good." Harry jabbed his watch, disappearing from the flat as he was spun through the magical vortex to his tent. Once inside, he slumped into his chair. _Bugger... so, six _very_ willing, and two more who don't seem to be as obsessed, but happy to comply. If I was even remotely normal, I'd be up to my nuts in wet willing witch right now. Sometimes, I'm such a disgrace to my sex._

He reached for his cellphone, jabbing the speed-dial and calling his Goblin contact. How goblins had cellular technology, he didn't have a clue, but he wasn't about to complain. It truly was a lifeline at the moment, and he desperately needed one of those.

"This is Potter. Lexic-Dark-9-2-2-Alpha."

"_This is Snapnose, Lord Potter. Alpha-9-1-7-5-Blue. How can Gringotts be of use to you today?_"

"I have... a problem."

"_Could you elaborate, Lord Potter?_"

"Six girls have become dribbling submissives to me, wanting nothing more than to service me. Two others appear to be affected, but not as badly. I have my suspicions as to who is responsible, but I need some help."

"_Goblins do not provide 'help', Lord Potter._"

"Fine. I need your services. I'm prepared to be... generous in compensation."

"_As always, Lord Potter, you speak our language. What services will you require?_"

"Your best healers, both physical and mental. A safe place to hide out, and a secure location I can put up my tent. That's what I know at the moment. As soon as I've collected them and they've been checked out, I'll know where to go from there."

"_We are able to assist in this endeavour. Setting five on your Portkey will bring you and anyone in contact with you to Gringotts emergency medical centre. I will instruct our top healers to be awaiting your arrival._"

"As always, Snapnose, your best is exemplary, and far beyond anything else available. I'm going up to Hogwarts now. I expect I should have my meeting there concluded within an hour."

"_We will be waiting, Lord Potter._"

Harry snapped the phone closed, before tucking it into his belt. The campsite would be secure while he was gone, but would _he_ be secure? With a sigh, he moved over to one of the cupboard, reaching in a pulling out a goblin-modified pistol. _Thank god the Goblins can authorise weapons permits, or I'd be up crap creek without a paddle._ He tucked it into a shoulder holster, pulling on a snug leather jacket. "Hi-ho silver..." He muttered as he portkeyed away.

* * *

He arrived outside the main gates at Hogwarts, staggering forward but able to maintain his footing. All the Portkey travel he'd been doing over the last few months had actually been useful to him. Under other circumstances, he'd laugh, but this wasn't the time. He passed through the gates, marching up the drive with a confidence none had ever seen in him before. He glanced over at Hagrid's hut, seeing the half-giant delivering his usual Hippogriff lecture to a bunch of terrified third-years.

He glanced at his watch. _I do have the time..._ Veering off the path, he made his way over, chuckling inwardly when several people recognised him and stepped back, allowing him through.

"Harry!" Hagrid proclaimed loudly. "Good to see you! Are you coming back?"

Harry smiled at his half-giant friend, who grabbed him in a bear hug that left him breathless. _I really wish he'd get rid of that beard. Or at least comb it._ "No, Hagrid. Just visiting. Thought I'd come over and see the Hippogriffs."

Hagrid pulled back, slamming one meaty hand on Harry's shoulder, driving him to his knees. "It's a shame you're not back, Harry, but I think you recognise Witherwings there, don't you?"

Said Hippogriff was straining at his chain in excitement, trying to get to Harry. The young man chuckled as he ambled over, hearing the gasps of shock from the scared witless third years. He bowed low to 'Witherwings', who was already on his scaly knees in anticipation. Harry approached, rubbing the Hippogriff's nose casually.

"Hey, there, Beaky." Harry said soothingly. "How've you been?" The Hippogriff neighed in his curious fashion. "Fancy a quick fly?" The frantic nodding made Harry laugh as he untied his favourite half-avian animal, and leapt onto his back. "Once more over the lake, dear friend?"

The Hippogriff let out a roar before charging forward. The sixteen feet wings erupted from Buckbeak's sides before the animal hurled himself into the air, racing forwards.

_Ah... I've missed this._ Harry thought as he extended his arms, keeping his grip on the half-horse with just his knees.

"What say we show off a little, eh, Beaky?"

Buckbeak chattered in agreement as he dove towards the lake, pulling up at the last moment to glide over the dark water, one of the animal's front claws snatching an unlucky fish from the murky depths. They pulled up, heading over the school, scaring the crap out of Argus Filch, who was on the battlements cleaning up a large pile of bird shit. He shook his fist at the rapidly retreating Hippogriff and rider.

All too soon, the ride ended, Buckbeak neatly folding his wings back to his side as he landed at a gallop, cantering back to Hagrid and the third years. They were all clapping at Harry's bravery.

Harry dismounted as Buckbeak demolished the fish, happy at the flight and seeing his friend again. Harry stroked Buckbeak's snout, crooning softly to him. "Take care of yourself, old friend." He whispered, before turning to Hagrid. "I need to speak to Dumbledore, Hagrid. Be safe, my friend."

Another bear hug, and a mouthful of Hagrid's beard later, Harry was back on the path, heading up for the inevitable confrontation.

* * *

As he passed through the Entrance Hall, he heard the clamour of hundreds of students eating. _Ah, lunch. Bugger... should have waited for a bit. Although... why's Hagrid teaching a class at lunchtime?_He thought back to the encounter, remembering that each of the third years wore blue and bronze. _Ah, Ravenclaws... not that much of a surprise, then. Weird kids, Ravenclaws... always were. Rather be dealing with mad horses than eating. Dear god... I sound like Ron... that's not good._

He stepped into the doorway of the Great Hall, and waited to be noticed. A year ago, he'd have been shitting razor blades at the prospect of everyone looking at him. Now, he'd grown a little, matured a lot, and didn't give crap what people thought.

"Oh my god!" A high-pitched young male voice squealed. "It's Harry Potter!"

Every eye turned to him, several young ladies squealing noisily as they shot to their feet and raced towards him. _Oh, bugger._ He held out his hands, stopping them in their tracks.

Hermione, Luna, Ginny, Susan, Padma and Parvati. All looking delicious and adorable. All of them wanting to get into his pants and stay there, probably for the rest of their lives. And all of them _wrong_. "Ladies, why don't you wait for me in the Room of Requirement. I need to speak to the Headmaster before I come and see you privately."

They shot off, leaving their lunches abandoned on the table, as they raced to the Room of Requirement. _I swear I'm gonna rip Dumbledore a new arsehole for this. It's got to be his fault. No-one else is this devious._

"Headmaster." He called up to the sick old man at the head table, who was watching Harry with an air of enjoyment.

"Mr. Potter. How good of you to return to us. Would you like to join us for lunch?"

"No." Harry replied in an ice-cold tone. "I need to speak to you in private, Headmaster. It's quite important."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "I'm busy for the next several days, Mr. Potter, but you're welcome to join us. I'm sure you'll be able to catch up with your classwork while you wait."

"Your office, now." Harry's tone was glacial. Dumbledore didn't move. "_Now_, Headmaster."

With a sigh, Dumbledore got to his feet, heading for a side door in the hall. Harry walked down the aisle, ignoring everyone else as they tried to welcome him back. Ron stood up, putting himself directly in Harry's path.

"You want something, Ron?" He asked, stopping in front of his ex-friend.

"Why have you come back, Potter?" Ron snapped angrily.

"Get out of my way, Weasley, or I'll be forced to move you."

Ron laughed. "You don't use magic anymore, 'Boy-Who-Lived'!" He sneered the title. "How are you gonna-" He was cut off as his nose spurted blood, Harry's fist smoothly moving back to his side, while his leg shot out, hooking the back of Ron's knee, dumping the redhead to the floor.

"Like that." Harry started walking again.

* * *

Once through the door, Harry found a staircase, which he climbed two steps at a time. He was quickly in the Headmaster's office, where the old man was sitting behind his desk, sucking on a soothing lemon drop. "Ah, come in, Harry."

"I'm already in." Harry replied, standing in front of the old man's desk. "Now, I have questions for you, Dumbledore, and I want answers. No bullshit, no hiding things from me 'for my own good'. The truth, complete and unvarnished."

Dumbledore wasn't fazed in the slightest. "I will answer what I can, Harry. Of course, there are some things I cannot reveal."

Harry sat down, keeping one hand tucked into his jacket, the cool metal of the pistol grip comforting in his hand. "I shall get straight to the point, then; why, exactly, are there now six girls lusting after me, Headmaster?" he asked. "I know, for an absolute fact, that these girls haven't just suddenly decided to become submissive bisexuals to please me, disregarding the possible exile and death that could result. So... what's the truth?"

Dumbledore's face went through a number of different poses, before it sagged into the visage of a tired old man. "In a way, Harry, they have decided to become... part of your harem, simply to please you." Dumbledore saw Harry about to object. He raised his hand. "However... the reason that they have decided to please you is that... I cast a charm on you, back in Hong Kong."

"What?" Harry was outraged, utterly outraged at the thought of Dumbledore casting unknown spells on him. _I portkeyed out before anyone tagged me..._

"Just before the Order members fired their stunning charms at you, I cast a... a modified compulsion charm at you. I saw it hit you, just before you portkeyed away. It would have taken effect immediately, and begun to influence the young ladies."

Harry looked confused for a moment. "A Compulsion charm would make _me_ do something, not have girls throwing themselves at me."

"That's why I said a _modified_ Compulsion charm, Harry." Dumbledore said dryly. "This charm works in two ways. It immediately accessed your subconscious, finding what, or in this case,_ who_ you want, then begins to... adjust them, so that they are more suitable to the host of the charm."

"So... you turned six girls into dribbling bisexuals who want to practically rape me... because of a compulsion charm? Why?" Harry's face displayed intense shock and disappointment. "For the love of god, why?"

"We need you to return to the Wizarding world, Harry. Your friends just left you behind. I couldn't let you walk away. You are needed, Mr. Potter, needed to be the weapon that defeats Voldemort. If it means that I need to enslave six teenage girls to you, then so be it. It was for the Greater Good."

"'The Greater Good'?" Harry roared, lurching to his feet. "How the fuck can enslaving people and turning them into fuck-toys for a sixteen year old kind be for the Greater Good?"

"You are the only one who can defeat Tom Riddle, Harry. Without you being in the Wizarding world, learning and fighting, we will all be killed or captured. You are the only hope for us all."

"And you haven't explained exactly why turning Ginny, Hermione, Luna, Padma, Parvati and Susan into submissive bisexuals is for the Greater Good."

Dumbledore looked a little abashed. "Well... I... I needed a way to compel you to return, Harry. Your comments with regards to your own harem seemed like a good approach. A Harem would give you something to fight for, as well as a way of relieving stress and tension."

Harry slumped in his chair, staring at Dumbledore in disbelief. "I... I didn't make those comments until after I'd left Hong Kong... How could you have plotted this out?"

There was a pause as Dumbledore gathered his thoughts. "To be perfectly honest, Harry-"

"Ah." Harry interrupted rudely. "That'll be a refreshing change. Are you sure you're capable of it?"

"It is something that almost every heterosexual male fantasises about at some point, even me, a few years ago." Dumbledore completed smoothly, as though Harry had not interrupted. "It did not seem out of the realm of possibility that you would harbour those same desires."

"It's still wrong!" Harry roared, slamming his hand down onto the desk. "What about Hestia Jones? Or Tonks? They're both affected, although it doesn't seem to be as... intense for them."

Dumbledore gave a small smile, as though proud of his work. "The level of compulsion they feel is directly related to your feelings for them. Miss Granger is obviously the most affected, since you feel most strongly about her. The other ladies will have differing amounts, but are still compelled to obey you and love you."

"And Tonks? Or Hestia? I barely know them. I've spoken to them once, maybe twice."

"You are attracted to them, if only mildly. As such, they are attracted to you, if only mildly. It was a rather clever spell, if I do say so myself."

Harry was clearly not amused. "Undo it, now. Take it off them."

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, and sighed heavily. "I cannot, Mr. Potter. The compulsion was powerful and permanent. Those young women are yours now, to do with as you please. I never considered that it would be necessary to undo the spell."

"Then find a way!" Harry snarled. "Don't just sit here and spout shit at me, do something!"

"I cannot, Mr. Potter... and there is more. The compulsion on these young women is growing stronger every day. Each of them wants you. It will soon escalate to the point where nothing else will matter to them. They will become more... aggressive in their pursuit of you. Nothing will stop them."

Harry growled for a moment. "If I have to, I'll lock them up in a bloody convent. One each, if needs be. I won't let you screw them over like you did me!" He stood up straight. "Have you told them? Explained to them why they've been psychologically altered? That you're _using_ them?"

"I have not." Dumbledore replied heavily. "I was hoping that you would accept their advances without it needing to be explained, either to them or to yourself."

Harry laughed, an ugly, mirthless sound. "You were hoping that I'd leap gleefully into bed with them, using them as slaves, happy to be back in the Wizarding world where you could mould me into your man, yes?" Dumbledore nodded. "You are utterly fucking unbelievable, do you know that?"

"I am prepared to do whatever is necessary, Mr. Potter, to protect the Wizarding world. In the big picture, the lives of seven people are a small price to pay for the three million wizards and witches in the world."

Harry grimaced. The bloody 'greater good' again. "You're wrong, Dumbledore. The big picture is a collage of 'little people' making up a whole. Now I need to go and explain what's happened to those girls you've neatly subverted."

"If that is your wish, Harry, I will not stop you." Dumbledore allowed magnanimously. "However, in order for you to speak to students in my school, you will need to be a fellow student. By speaking to them, you are accepting your re-admittance to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." He smiled warmly. "I shall arrange for the House Elves to move your bed back into Gryffindor tower, and Professor McGonagall will be able to put together your class schedule-"

"Don't try and fuck me about!" Harry snarled, clutching the pistol tighter under his jacket. "You're in more shit than a sewage farm worker at the moment, Dumbledore. Since you've neatly buggered up everything in my life, I'm not feeling particularly charitable to you. You don't want to push me."

Before Dumbledore could come up with a retort, Harry had departed the office, racing towards the Room of Requirement as fast as his legs could carry him.

* * *

"Harry!" Six identical squeals welcomed him into the Room of Requirement, as six naked warm bodies tried to pile onto him. The scent in the air told him that they were _really_ pleased to see him.

"Stop!" Harry commanded sharply, underestimating just how badly Dumbledore's compulsion was working on the girls. They froze instantly, looking at him peacefully. "Oh, bugger..."

"Harry?" Hermione asked, tentatively taking a step towards him. "Are you okay?"

Harry sighed. "I'm fine, Hermione. We'd better sit down." He looked the girls over. "And you should probably put some more clothes on."

The girls sat on two couches the Room of Requirement conjured up, while Harry sat on an armchair in between them. They'd conveniently ignored his suggestion of redressing.

"Hermione, I've just had a _very_ interesting chat with Dumbledore. I asked him why six girls who'd never shown overt affection towards me or anyone else suddenly became drooling bisexuals."

"Does it matter, Harry?" Hermione asked softly. "You're here now with us. That's all that matters."

"Will you please focus?" Harry snapped. "Hermione, you're being used! You're being controlled! Dumbledore cast a compulsion charm on me which affected you. He's using you all to force me to come back and fight Voldemort!"

"You mean... you don't want us?" Hermione asked, tears coming to her eyes. "We... we're not good enough for you?"

"Slytherin's stinking scrotum, Hermione, that's not what I said! You're being used as a fuck-toy to make me fight Voldemort! Don't you care?"

All six girls were now sniffling pathetically at the prospect of being rejected. Harry looked at them, annoyed at the manipulation Dumbledore had caused. "Oh, bollocks..." He cleared his throat. "Get dressed, go to your dorms and pack up your gear. Be back here in thirty minutes. We're leaving."

They all looked at him with adoration. "Thank you, Harry." They said in unison, making Harry shiver. _Jesus, that's creepy._ One by one they filed past him, pressing a kiss on his cheek, or his lips if they could reach.

_Okay... I guess it's time to make sure my bloody tent will fit them all. I am _so_ not sharing a bed with them... not until this gets sorted out, anyway._

* * *

All six girls were back within fifteen minutes, a sure sign that they were eager to be... claimed by Harry. _I never wanted _this_! I don't want submissive bitches! I want a challenging partner, not six sycophants. I'm not Dumbledore... Oh, bollocks to it. Forgot about the old bastard._

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?" She looked at him dreamily.

"Focus, Herms." _Will she react to that hated name?_

"Sorry, Harry."

_Nope. She really is fucked in the head._ "Can you check everyone in this room for tracking charms, compulsion charms, or anything else?"

Hermione didn't move. She just kept staring at Harry.

"Hermione! Now."

Her wand was in hand before he'd finished speaking as she cast diagnostic charms on everyone. Harry, although he hadn't picked up his wand for almost a year, could easily read the floating report. _Sweet Jesus, that's a _lot_ of charms. _On each girl were multiple tracking charms, also on their wands, a compulsion to report to Dumbledore at prearranged times, and several fertility charms. _That's insidious! Although from a tactical viewpoint, rather clever. I get my Harem, get them all pregnant, and Dumbledore can just control them. Layers upon layers. Bloody hell._

"Hermione, dispel everything. Where we're going, we don't want to be tracked." Harry commanded sharply, making Hermione rush forward, wand flickering like lightning. _I hope that when she wipes out those compulsions, they'll be a little more normal in the head._ He chuckled to himself. _I doubt it, though. If I didn't have bad luck... I wouldn't have no luck at all._

"It's clear, Harry." Hermione reported adoringly. "What's your command?"

_I hate this. I really bloody do._ "Shrink your trunks, put them in your pockets. Then make sure you grab onto me. I only have one Portkey, and it's too small for everyone to grab hold of."

Every eye dropped down to Harry's crotch, making him squirm in embarrassment. "Eyes up!" He ordered sharply. They obeyed instantly. _Naturally_.

"Have we upset you, Harry?" Susan asked, stepping closer and dropping her eyes. "Please, tell us."

"Don't..." Harry moaned. "I don't know how to deal with this. Just... just shrink your trunks, please."

As the girls carried out his request, the door to the Room of Requirement burst open, revealing Ron Weasley and Albus Dumbledore.

"Shields!" Harry commanded sharply, blinking when six powerful _Protego_ shields appeared round him. _If you wasn't for the fact that this is wrong and completely against my personal morals, it would actually be kinda cool._

"What are you doing here, Potter?" Ron snapped. "Ginny, get away from him! He's dangerous!" He looked over the rest of the girls. "Hermione? What are you doing with him?"

"They're coming with me, Weasley." Harry replied calmly. "They don't want to stay here without me, do you ladies?"

"No." All six replied in unison.

"What have you done to them, Potter?" Ron shouted, drawing his wand. "This must be Dark magic!"

Harry laughed, outraged. "_I_? You think _I_ had something to do with this? Blame the old meddling bastard behind you. He's the one that performed the rather impressive brain-fuck on the lovely ladies."

Dumbledore stepped forward, pulling his wand from his sleeve. "I'm afraid I can't let you leave, Harry. Now that you've returned, we'll be able to begin your training to defeat Voldemort. Your girls will be with you."

Harry chuckled again. "Oh, they'll be with me, all right. But we won't be here. Grab on!"

One by one, the girls stepped backwards, placing a hand on his shoulder, his arm, and in Luna's case, his bottom, keeping their wands raised to keep the shields up.

"Think about this, Harry." Dumbledore pleaded. "You are needed. The whole world depends on you. Can't you see that leaving is wrong? You're condemning everyone, just for your own selfish desires!"

"Activate!" Harry commanded sharply, jabbing his thumb onto his watch, triggering the goblin-made Portkey, whisking all seven abused people away from Hogwarts. The last sound Harry heard as they dematerialised was Ron's outraged howl.


End file.
